must i ?

another feelings out pour .....when nobody listens and walls dont help

must i sit here with mind full of woe
how will it leave me i will not know
its far to much for my small plate
i used to love but now i hate

ive been taken over by one evil soul
feel like im burried in one massive hole
must i stay in or do i climb out
suppose i need to scream and shout

ive always followed angels
and they usually lead me well
but i met a monster and now it seems i fell
its not how i want to be alone and sad and more
but i cant fly just now it seems
im down and on the floor

why do people act so hard and cruel and even more
rub your face in the dirt and then dish out some more
i can not heal yet a while because i feel so bad
all the hurt and lies has made me feel quite sad

i pray one day it goes away but not just yet it hasnt
my life my pain my sorrow isnt very pleasent
ive learnt a lesson hard to bare ,that when you help you share
but it only works if both of you do care

it seems ive lost a battle ,yet why do i still fight
because its in my nature to what i thought right
oh well i wont be helping none because my care is gone
i dont know how to help or love i feel im only one

maybe its best ive learnt a lesson ,well for now it seems
i used to follow angels and make such happy dreams
untill one day the devil called and screwed me up real good
and funny now when i look back because i knew he would.

must i pay with my life my heart my soul my own
i dont like being reduced to just talking on the phone
its very cruel beyond my words how you have stole my life
taken from me all i had and caused me so much strife

i sit and cry for hours on end and you say you cry the same
but i dont see you crying i see you play your game
must i live with broken heart for what you did to me
i was a family of four and now it feels like three

would your mother like you torn from her very heart
i dont think shed cope with being a few miles apart
if this is how you love people then i have to say its wrong
you need to give me my daughter back where she belong

must i cry my self to sleep and wake again in tears
you stired in my most horrid things and horrid horrid fears
i cared if you were breathing i cared if your ok
i must have been so crazy to let you treat me this way

i had a dream not long ago you died down in a gutter
i strived to drag you out of it and you call me a nutter
oh well it seems you might be right for all the world to see
but dont forget who did this horrid thing to me

i must write words i must get it out i wont let it eat me up
i may be down just now but one day i will stand up
must i see my future the way i dont want to see
seems i have to go along with what u did to me

must live a different life right now ,not happy like it was
and all because your evil plan all because because
must i accept your evil when all i thought was good
i really should have listened yes i really should

told to leave you to get on and make your life a mess
but i cared and loved you ,yes i do confess
but i cant help someone as evil as you are
because you have distroyed my life ,you went a bit too far

must i live this way ? oh why
all i do is feel anger and cry and cry and cry
your not the man i thought you were
i wasted so much love
now i sit and pray again to angels up above

one day i hope they answer me because i sent them all your way
now your cruel plan makes me suffer makes me pay
and what has really changed for you ? nothing yet it seems
all because you run away and crush all your nice dreams

i really thought youd do it and conquer your evil world
but it seems you end right back just from where you started
all this grief and heartache now that family parted
i dont know how you cope with that evil mood of yours
mine is all in pieces washed up on the shores

must i go on .........i think i must
because i promised my loving man
and i will follow my moto you can if you think you can.

Author's Note

not sure if i should enter my ramblings under poems or nonsense ? it just comes from inside me onto paper . reviews and comments welcome.