Water

The rusted metal of its forearms show sagacity

Scrutinize umbra's of isolation under its brass heart

The scenery is foreign, it missed the vindicate atmosphere

The only one of its kind is left standing

Its parched metal skin was provocative

Standing up on the high platform of soil and grass

It sank in farther and farther

It never felt intrepid

But the longevity of a human

Shouldn't be as much as a machine

So why is it so afraid of dying

If the immortal never feels intrepid? 

Reviews

[Dayran]

A proto from early time, reposed in our being, the guide to understanding life, the way it is communicated to us from the future. With a level of efficiency, machine-like, wakes today to catch the water from the other side, interpret it and lead life forward. A poem that took a lot to write. Someday, this is what poems will be all about!

[Calypso]

This is mystic and I might be dense because I have to think more about it.

[Jazique]

Wow interesting and I like the eneding of "If the Immortal never feels intrepid?" is kind of mysteriou. Anyways well done.

[Dahlia Phoenix]

A compelling piece. Every stanza had its own part and the way you portray it makes me imagine myself in the rain, a mechanism of man and nature itself. Wonderful!

I like this transforming ~ made me thinking of piece, of humans and machines, you bring out the lines with a true message in it, I feel a certain fear through your writing, that the future will be diffrent. Full metal, and automation... It's still a beautiful poem, and it could be all fiction... ;) xx

[Lily Mae]

Man and machine...love it...x

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I like the ending stanza, really interesting. Different.

[joshua deathdealer]

This is intriguing. Makes one wonder where in the hell this came from. I really enjoyed this. Well done..xx

[Tainted Devotion]

this was very interesting...I'm a little at a loss at what lays behind this poem...none the less you did a great job. you have a nack for using great imagery. Nicely done.