Dream, reality, self-deception?

For my Spoken Word assignment in Creative Writing and Publishing 15.

Deep down where I used to confide
stood a girl near my blind side
the wind echoed my thoughts
and she stood in front of me with incredible haunts
her child-like innocence
painted a picture on a canvas, with blank resonance.

Big black button eyes battered the banjos song,
with hair that just doesn’t seem to belong,
that child-like innocence
turned into a heart that swelled with horror’s pestilence.
Those big black clouds moving slightly in her eyes
she said they they were going to come now.

“Who is coming?” The voices ricocheted off of nowhere
“All of them,” could it be that her tone was filled with despair?
Thump, thump, thump of the horses galloping towards us,
shrieks and hollering of the souls that are telling us to run, we must!
The shots went off--no time to think about our next move
The ability to move was lost in the crimson of the girl,
there was no way to tell who finally made those fingers stop curl,
all the evidence left behind was the thick liquid that ran through the fingers
of the girl who was stupid to stop and linger.

Deep down where I used to confide
Thump, thump, thump of the horses galloping towards us
The shots went off--no time to think about our next move
The ability to move was lost in the crimson of the girl,
she said they they were going to come now.
Big black button eyes battered the banjos song,
all the evidence left behind was the thick liquid that ran through my fingers.

Deep down where I used to confide
wandered a girl that didn’t know, and hadn’t tried
she never knew the difference between self-deception
her own reality, and most of all
her dreams.
So how can she be too sure what shes actually seeing
and what she isn’t?

Author's Note

The fourth stanza is a mix of all the other lines combined, and you're suppose to read it in a fast way. I want to know your interpretations and representations of this poem. Do you think it has potential?

Reviews

[Nishant Gupta]

ur poem is really nice write, do have a look to mine "QUEST OF LIFE"-
" it is about how one neglects his life ,pondering about this precious gift of nature unnecessarily ".

[Dayran]

When poets speak of songs of innocence, they must be referring to one such as this. There's a quiet wail in the background, like the horn on a ship that's finding its way in the blurry mists. A ballad that speaks of an oft' repeating experience of loss and discovery. Nice!

[Kenneth The Poet]

Good work.

[ivizarx]

Anxiety and hallucinations is a big one here I find. But as for the question of potential, my answer: "Heck YEah! No need to ask" ;)
But it is always comforting to have conformation.
As someone who is diagnosed with schizophrenia, I can definitely see the alertness and the feeling of paranoia within the poem relative to my own experiences with situations to somewhat close to the ones mentioned here.
A pat on the back and righty-O' cheers mate for a good days work ;)
A cup of tea to you to please da mind?

[Everson Taveras]

It most certainly has potential. I found this poem to have been very mysterious and harrowing. It left the reader running after the words, to discover the meaning and true purpose of the poem. You ask an audaciously, terrifying question at the end. Well done. Thank you for sharing.

[Ruth]

Reflection here is outstanding! There is a reeling feeling to this...all consuming..in a good way...makes me sit back and think...woahh! Now that was good..with a big smile :)
xx

[Alysa]

Amazing work as always, my darling. This reminds me of so many things. Just like all your other poems do. And I know you'll get an amazing grade, so show those other writers who's boss!

[Larry Dyson]

I like the flow and I did read it rather fast..it works well..

[Coyote Poetry]

I hope you got a good grade. You are a amazing writer. The poem started strong and got better. Your description made the poem take life and I like the tale in the poem. I like the question at the end. Than you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[MmeCorpse]

I like the story that came with this, and I'd love to hear this out loud, because you just don't get the same effect when simply "reading".

You deserve an A. Good job! :)