Dream, reality, self-deception?

For my Spoken Word assignment in Creative Writing and Publishing 15.

Deep down where I used to confide
stood a girl near my blind side
the wind echoed my thoughts
and she stood in front of me with incredible haunts
her child-like innocence
painted a picture on a canvas, with blank resonance.

Big black button eyes battered the banjos song,
with hair that just doesn’t seem to belong,
that child-like innocence
turned into a heart that swelled with horror’s pestilence.
Those big black clouds moving slightly in her eyes
she said they they were going to come now.

“Who is coming?” The voices ricocheted off of nowhere
“All of them,” could it be that her tone was filled with despair?
Thump, thump, thump of the horses galloping towards us,
shrieks and hollering of the souls that are telling us to run, we must!
The shots went off--no time to think about our next move
The ability to move was lost in the crimson of the girl,
there was no way to tell who finally made those fingers stop curl,
all the evidence left behind was the thick liquid that ran through the fingers
of the girl who was stupid to stop and linger.

Deep down where I used to confide
Thump, thump, thump of the horses galloping towards us
The shots went off--no time to think about our next move
The ability to move was lost in the crimson of the girl,
she said they they were going to come now.
Big black button eyes battered the banjos song,
all the evidence left behind was the thick liquid that ran through my fingers.

Deep down where I used to confide
wandered a girl that didn’t know, and hadn’t tried
she never knew the difference between self-deception
her own reality, and most of all
her dreams.
So how can she be too sure what shes actually seeing
and what she isn’t?

Author's Note

The fourth stanza is a mix of all the other lines combined, and you're suppose to read it in a fast way. I want to know your interpretations and representations of this poem. Do you think it has potential?

Reviews

[Ripple of Aqua]

I think it very much has potential. I was a little frightened when I first stared reading because you were rhyming, something I feel is so constricting to a writter, but you pulled through. You made it belong there. The whole way that your mind paints the picture of that girl, shrouded in mystery and disparity gives it a great soft and tragic light.

[rae52]

deep and dark i like it it definitely has potential

[amdc101]

This has a very dark and mysterious mood. Quickly moving, it leaves the reader thinking and putting everything together. Well done

[DreyaArt]

huh interesting perspective

[ToxicMelody]

POTENTIAL! YES! This is absolutely amazing! I feel like this is a poem from someone like Robert Frost! The imagery is flawless as well as the rhythm. It's truly inspiring. Bravo!

[Daytonight]

I loved the flow and rhythm of this piece. Well done. Keep on penning.

[Vinod Kumar U K]

symbolic cute work, nice reflection ..

[Dahlia Phoenix]

All these concepts can really reflect on what we want to see and what we do see. I love the dark emotions expressed here and I agree with Poetic Justice, this is a tale you can tell little children for Halloween even if they may not understand now.

[.]

dark and visually powerful..a halloween delight