having a solid rhyme scheme is not a bad thing, but you need to be careful and make sure that it actually makes sense, which in this case it did. I was impressed that you managed a very consecutive story in this format with a rigid rhyme scheme. Great job.
I like how you made the poem flow. Allowing the reader to feel and think because of the cause and effect of the lines. Words can open or close doors. This poem open door to questions and misery. I like the ending. Sometime a prison need to be broke down and the people set free. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote
The rhyming scheme didn't bother me, I thought it worked.
I like the poem, the contrasts, the power behind the words. The emotion was obvious too. A great piece :)
I don't find your poem cheesy at all. I find someone healing and recovering from a toxic relationship.
this is my favorite stanza.
This is a very freeing poem to me
Point of inspiration for many
Glowing and love,
Outgoing and above him,
Knowing and beloved,
Growing and free of him.
This sings to me like the melodic metal sound sculptures that I so cherish. I must admit that it speaks to me of all my addictions and the effect they had on every aspect of my existence.
Expressive and thought provoking, I can not help but be captivated within the schematics. I enjoyed this in ways that can't be quantified.
Lovely write. I love how the whole story is portrayed and the brutal honesty within the lines. I'm an addict lol so the fourth stanza was my favorite. Well done.
This was really interesting, and I felt like I didn't know where you were going at times, but it made sense. It was like a plot that kept twisting, keeping the reader interested. Great job!
Yes, at least you acknowledge the rhyming thing. Also, the whole 'dope' line was a bit of a thud to earth after all the emotional stuff before it. That was more childish and overly blatant than the rhyming. This is another one of those poems where it's largely telling versus showing, yes you felt these emotions, yes you're telling us you felt these emotions. But WE can't feel these emotions unless you make us, just saying that's how you felt isn't enough. I like the last line though, it's ever so cutting and liberating. I could feel myself relating to my own past experiences with that last line.
So it's been a couple years since I've been on this site, and lots has changed. Most of my writing is between two to three years difference to the stuff I'm writing now. Please pay attention to the di.. more..