Samia

This is explaining a part of me. Mostly one of my personalities. -- Pronounced "sam-eye-uh"

samia, samia, the listener from above

the only one of us that's capable of love

my sweet angel of innocence and perception

you're lovely mind is made up of greed and self-deception

the lovely wife of Acaeus, who is stubborn

and your lovely spiritual daughter who was left unborn

my sweet little angel of contemplation

why do you have to fool those with manipulation?

blonde shimmery locks that fall around your face

and those gray-blue eyes that will always be hard to replace

your porcelain skin that's noticeable at dark

and your thin lips that create such a spark

samia, samia, the listener from above

the only person that we are allowed to think of

Reviews

[Kathryn]

I loved the way you used the aabb ccdd structure - somehow you maintained a sweet and soft flow despite the tricky rhymes :) I loved the way you described Samia like a shadow of yourself - it was a lovely, deep meaning for a poem of this length. The imagery (like the meaning) was original, and beautiful. I loved how you not only included simalies, but made the pem itself into a huge metaphor. The overall effect was a serene and somehow chilling piece that I really loved. Well done :)

[Megan]

beautiful write! i love the description in this :) It really makes it easier to appreciate this because it is explaining a part of you and honestly I feel like I know you a little better because of it. My favorite line is "the only person capable of love" because it makes it sound like this is you're "loving side" the side hat cares for people the most and you make her sound amazing! great job Cassidy!!! and thanks for posting and sharing something so personal with us :)

[Nicayal]

I should preface this with a note that I don't really understand poetry that much (at least in terms of what's "right" or "wrong").

I like it overall.

A few things:
1) "your lovely spiritual daughter that was left unborn..."

Generally, when you're modifying a person, you should use "who" instead of "that."

Example: "I'm a person who sucks at reviewing poetry." (as opposed to "I'm a person that sucks at reviewing poetry.")

2) Is shimmery a word? Seems to be but I've always only heard "shimmering." Cool. I seem to have learned something new.

3) In your explanation section up there you said "This is explaining part of me. Mostly one of my personalities." Are you multiple/plural, or did you just mean an aspect of your personality? Always curious to meet plural writers if it's the former. If the latter, I've never considered writing about an aspect of who I am, so I find the concept pretty neat.

Cheers,
Nic

[DontBlink158]

i liked it. it is new and unique great job!

[Daytonight]

Very interesting write. Keep on penning.

[lady of the canyons]

I wonder why she is "the only one of us capable of love" this line captured me. I also was stirred into thinking it through when I read "your porcelain skin that's noticable at dark".
I am reading this first because the name caught my eye, also I read your profile and wanted to read your other personalities. I have characters which are other sides of my personality in some of my stories.

[TheElfPrincess]

Hauntingly beautiful. Powerfully written. Loved it.

[FemmeSpookyCorpse]

This is such a hauntingly beautiful piece! Your word choice is sharp, raw and eerie. Very powerful stanzas, as well! Great work = ]

-Femme_Gothique (Brittany)

[Day Dreamer]

This is well written. I love it. Keep up the good work. Keep writing! :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

Very cool work. The rhyme and imagery are pitch perfect.