Separated by a Comma

A Cheyenne/CSR Joint.....one of my first friends from this site she is quite the writer and it is super cool to write with her...my Tennessee Connection.

Separated by a Comma

 

She knew he wasn't cowboy hats and Wrangler a*s

He was from the desert hot, breathing deathly dry

Lassoing white collar dollars into a blue collar wallet

Herding sunshine and hot pavement into an October wind

The only thing that would make it cool

 

Arizona he was

 

He knew she wasn’t Dior perfume and hairspray curls

Her skin fell winter snow, chilled to a pale perfection

She wore two books a day on her nose to make ends meet

Collecting dew covered dandelions by the armfuls to breathe

The only thing that would grant a wish

 

Tennessee she was

 

She knew he was a hot mess half the time or better

Intuition ticking too fast to tell the time, but keeping her heart in hours

Reading the bold face type like a crystal bowling ball…..strike after strike

Hoping like hell he is in time to diffuse any confusion

For want of attention he climbed mountains mining diamonds and gold

 

Emotional he was

 

He knew she was ten shades of pathetic, an art

Heart beating steadfast to the sound of beauty, his words

Putting out feelers for any space in his emotional cover

Counting in hundreds the amount of problems of loving him

For want to love him, jumping cliffs and swimming oceans

 

Pathetic she was

 

Her pen greased with the blood of a young heart pumping old soul thoughts

Flowed smoothly and lucidly in loops and lines, a beautiful hand

Spelling her wants and desires in spreading pools, concentric circles

Ripples that never die but grow into tsunamis of emotion

Showing others what it is like to feel, address, express, deeply

 

A writer she was

 

His words outstood her beauty by a thousand times, black script perfection

Like it or not, you were going to feel, magnified to the Nth degree

He can write you cold, hot, beautiful or ugly, you are his toy as his muse

If you didn’t crave him at the start, you would by the perfectly written ending

Tongue craving his wit and naughtiness, heart keeping time with the sweet words

 

A genius he was

Author's Note

We wrote about ourselves the first four stanzas and then about each others writing the last two.....Thanks Girly Q.....You rock.

Reviews

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

*smiles* i didn't know which to comment, so this'll go for both of you at once (yes, i am THAT f*****g lazy heh heh) - but this is absolutely beautiful, the both of you,, you move very fluidly back and forth between voices, and use such pristine images to do it.

tremendous piece, and you both should feel a sense of pride for such a stellar write

[...]

. wow, i think both of you did exceedingly well ... the characterization is fascinating ... it's rather comforting to know that there are two sparkling minds that render exquisite poetry effortlessly ... beautiful work ...

[.]

there's a symmetry between you both, your styles blended nicely, this is a strong and well phrased write..really well done

[Robin]

great interaction between the two of you