This is an unconventional love poem with a song-like quality and a cadence which trips off the tongue satisfyingly. There is a peculiarity about it which makes you think a little beyond the superficial; a hint of the abstract, as though it is a dream of perfection which would apparently be unattainable - but it retains a sense of truth, appearing to describe someone that is very real. It cannot be determined why this is, but the impression is there all the same. The use of the word "wright" is intriguing, as though this love has been crafted, or is the perfect craftsmanship.. And "...growing, knowing die.." is quite a mysterious phrase, which also leaves one with a feeling rather than a definition. The "wright" and "knowing die" together, though, create an overall sense of a perfectly-formed life, where understanding of existence itself is ultimately realised through the love of this ideal one.
Interesting work, with a smart technique, and unusual symbolic, faint abstract style which paints a picture that is a little more than the average poem of its genre.
Love that line~ meet me in the midnight sun...These things that happen when our eyes close and we hold our breath...just to the point of asphyxiation...then slowy releasing our consciousness...stellar!
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Wow, this is an old one...lol. A little trite for my taste, but sometimes that works....Thanks Q!!!
This is an unconventional love poem with a song-like quality and a cadence which trips off the tongue satisfyingly. There is a peculiarity about it which makes you think a little beyond the superficial; a hint of the abstract, as though it is a dream of perfection which would apparently be unattainable - but it retains a sense of truth, appearing to describe someone that is very real. It cannot be determined why this is, but the impression is there all the same. The use of the word "wright" is intriguing, as though this love has been crafted, or is the perfect craftsmanship.. And "...growing, knowing die.." is quite a mysterious phrase, which also leaves one with a feeling rather than a definition. The "wright" and "knowing die" together, though, create an overall sense of a perfectly-formed life, where understanding of existence itself is ultimately realised through the love of this ideal one.
Interesting work, with a smart technique, and unusual symbolic, faint abstract style which paints a picture that is a little more than the average poem of its genre.
I too love the rhyme pattern, it's different and adds a little extra something to the poem. I love it. This is a very sweet poem.
Run my fingers through your hair
You make me more….growing, knowing die
I love that...The last lines of each stanza really stand out to me. This is a wonderful piece...still can't get over how much I like the rhyming. Anyway...great job.
Like to hang out with other writers and see what's what. Have met a lot of good people on this and other sites through the years. Decided to come back and do a little posting and reading. Hit me up i.. more..