What Eye Want

For Devons Image Group.

What Eye Want

 

Picture me as the eye in the sky

Pentatonic form of Pii

Breathing your musk, denting the sky

Feeling like an a*s going zoooooooooom

 

Punch in the ribs, smoking a stick

Hips perfect, legs thick

Listening to the velvet moans of Grace Slick

Watching the birds hit the moooooooooon

 

Look at your teeth so perfect and square

Skin white, complexion fair

Comb tangled up in your big red clown hair

Tossing the stuff in your rooooooooom

 

You want my senseless rabble to stop

What a f*****g writing cop

Words dangling, a smelly wet mop

I stab you with the point of my pluuuuuuuuuume

 

Get this

Oh miss

My bliss

I write what eye want

 

Author's Note

Damn....that sounded angry when I read it back...wooohoooooo!!!!!!

Reviews

[Doreen]

I agree, it does sound angry. It has a unique style. I also hear bitterness and some, "I'll show you!" in this. Nice piece, sir. :)

[FlawedByDesign]

I did not find the time to write a poem for the first picture, but after reading this one, I can say that you've eclipsed the boundaries of that picture frame my friend. I mean that in a good way of course. Thinking outside the box does not come easy to a lot of us, yet you seem too teeter on the edge overlooking both sides and having the best of both worlds :)

Nicely done.

[just rose.]

brave you for taking on this picture which i look at (as a Member of The Group) and think, "should i write about a garden gnome? because what hasn't been said about them?"

very cool and experimental. love this.

[Ms. Gruye]

eye thinks you are getting more confident and playful as you continue to post. viva la..ps. no really, give me back the nachos

[Shante Payne]

At first while I was reading, I'm like damn he's a little pissed. But when I got to the end "Get this oh miss my bliss I write what eye want"...have to say that I love it. Great expressionism. You write what you want and about how you personally see things, if people don't like it screw them. All I can say is RIGHT ON!!!!

[Cassiopia Summers]

Haha, I like it, it's comical.(:

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

you know what is really really disturbing to me? for some reason as i read this, it felt like looking inside the mind of a serial murderer, one who preys on women.. and once i had that image? i couldn't shake it. damn. this is good.

[Ruth]

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hit the spot hon! lol It does sound angry hon, its a great poem for the image too:) The use of "eye" is cool and interesting:)
Goodness knows what it has clicked, captured and seethed over! Phewwwwww!
Excellent, hard hitting love!
xx

[Devons]

This leaves you with a nihilistic impression, as though the writing is almost anti-art. As if to assert that anything can be said in any way, and that free verse can be anything and yet still mean something; even though, taken literally, line by line, there is no real sense to what is being said. Expression can be a feeling, and feelings don't have any true representative meaning in logical sense. The way it feels is what matters. It sounds like a song on the whole, and I think that is significant, since many songs leave you with a feeling of profundity but don't literally mean anything at all. One can listen to a song in a foreign language and not understand a single word, and yet you are left feeling inspired with a feeling. Very interesting.

[Amy Bumpas]

Yes, this did sound angry. There were so many twists and
turns here. I hope rambling got you what you wanted:)).