Flutter

My image group write....pretty corny, but I am posting it anyway...just because I can..try and stop me.

Flutter

I wish that I could flutter up

My wings the hue of buttercups

My mouth the shape, a perfect "O"

Your lips like nectar down below

I wish that I could kiss the sky

And mock the strangers passing by

On your shoulder after flight

With whispers of a sweet delight

I'd tickle the spot below your nose

Give flattering remarks about your clothes

I would smile my smile and batt my eyes

Charm you with my patent lies

I'd tell you of my trip to france

And ask you if you'd like to dance

I would treat you like you're super sweet

You'd smash me flat beneath your feet

Author's Note

Gadzooks! its my writing and I still can't get the girl...I so suck.

Reviews

[Kasey Jones]

I really like this piece. It's not corny really because..you KNOW it's corny, so it's almost as if you're mocking yourself. But in a good way. I like the rhyming because it wasn't forced but it still works so well with the poem. The ending makes this interesting.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I think this is comically cute! and yes if you lie to me.. Ill smash you under my booty:) tee hee tee hee

[Hsnx]

its so nice someone write this sweet for me plz...sometimes we don't get what we want the most but when it comes its the way would never imagine...u will get the girl

[Craizze]

I enjoy the easy flow of this poem, I wish a guy would write me a poem like that. I tell people my feelings through my writing, I hope she at least knows how you feel.

[Brett Campaigne]

Sharp like a knife, this poem is.

[JelliFyshKissUs]

You have us ladies down pat. It's not you, it's us. How many times have you heard that? Lol!
Sometimes the simplest rhymes make the most entertaining poem. So glad you featured this. Enjoyed it greatly.

[Misty Blue Eyes]

you dont suck.. i love this poem and im sure you will get the girl

[Poetic Beauty]

The flow of this poem is smooth and easy to follow. Yea, well even in our writing we can't always get what we want, but remember sometimes we do get what we need. Gotta love the Rolling Stones for that one. Anyway this poem is beautiful and a bit humorous at the end. Love how you phrased the last line. It has an almost comical feel to it. I love the stunning beauty in the details you have weaved in and out of this poem.

[Alicante lullaby]

what is corny?people..
this one puts a smile on one's face...

[Robin]

high coolness factor inspite of said corniness .

[Kerry O'Connor]

Your lips like nectar down below...
That line about does it for me, I think, patent lie or not.