Toys

Sometimes screaming helps.....

Toys

 

Clouds silver slip, slip behind one another

The shadow of the trees like mountains chained

I crush the ashes like granite, grinding better

I slip from light unnoticed in the blinding flash

 

You see, but you don’t notice, really

You see, but sleep ensues quickly

You see, the brash young man within me

You see, and I can’t recoup, the sterilization beneath me

 

The light upon your jacket seethes merriment

Once upon a solemn time, I desire lustily

The flesh tinged with bloody desire, hastily

I tongue my way to bitter consequences

 

You see, eyes glazed with comfort and neutrality

You see, my desire layed out before you

You see, that I can’t function equally

You see, me for the fire under my skirt, go metro

 

The light within your hair shines steadily

The glow upon you lips cries that life is on the edge

My increasing whines give way to distemper

I eat myself from the inside out, nourishment for the able bodied

 

You see, that I am interrupting your flight pattern

You see, that I glide past every wish to reach your destiny

You see, that I can’t function in your absence

You see, that I am a boy in a man suit and you are toys

 

Toys that I can’t afford

Author's Note

Ahhhhhhh......thanks, it's been a hoot.

Reviews

[just rose.]

the rhythm in this is so sensual with the repetition and at the same time, there are such sharp points all through, with your word choices and the sentiments you share. the whole thing is like a secret ... that's revealing itself to the reader, and to whom you're speaking of and to, and even ... to yourself, i think. the soft slip of the words on the end of each line leads you to the next, and to the next, and the next ... until there's this incredible crescendo that leaves the reader thinking, and wondering, and wanting more. just gorgeous corey.

[Daniel Gardner]

I love the repetition. You put it in the right spots and it does not make the poem awkward. Great job

[Devons]

"You see, eyes glazed with comfort and neutrality"

This line stood out over many other good ones here.. I think because it represents everything about the blithe ignorance of someone who is desired and idolized by another but does not feel the same, nor wish to disillusion the other of their infatuation... using it as maintenance for their ego... It can only be a woman.. Men do not do this - the ensuing trouble if they did would be horrific. To string someone along and play this game is a form of selfish psychological cruelty which men are unlikely to take much pleasure from...
"The light within your hair shines steadily
The glow upon your lips cries that life is on the edge
My increasing whines give way to distemper
I eat myself from the inside out, nourishment for the able bodied"
...Nourishment for her ego, her happiness...but nothing returned, not even a "sorry, but no.."
She "sees" but will not tell.. She "sees" but will not help..She will tease, play and torture you - her toy... but you "can't afford" her "toys"...
I really like the way this is put together, it's structure thrives to convey the message it holds without losing its audience in self pity.. It is an honest and potent poem, with awareness and understanding that is 2 more dimensions better than the average love poem.

[Elizabeth]

"I tongue my way to bitter consequences"

Powerful. This is so well done.

[SR Urie]

Hello Corey,
Great write, sir. Your prose takes my mind to the flashy streets of downtown San Diego and to the rolling hills of Montrose county in the next line, and with me that sweetheart of a lady whose embrace has me wrapped around her pinky finger.
Keep it up man! I bet you have a good tune to these superb lyrics. BZ

[darkgurl]

This is wonderful, Such a poetic write. I enjoyed your last stanza the best. I really think this is wonderfully written.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Well Written Piece. Keep up the good work.

[Wicahpi]

that's pretty deep.

[Seashell]

You see...where ya goin ?? :)
Enjoyed this one Corey.....Everyone feels this way at one time or another in their life methinks !!
Thanks for share

Babs xx

[r]

wow