Better Than I Am

Just a comment on self esteem....

Better Than I Am

I might look better if you turn down the light love
Its quality makes my nonsense a gleaming halo
Humor, a cloaking sarong, falling loosely about worn out knees
Adding a splash of color, making me more, fancy

Walking along the road where the doves are singing their romantic praises
Until I pass, then just rustle with uneasiness in the fading light
I tell them to pardon my intrusion, just trying to fit in
My voice too loud, making me more, lonely

The neon light of the bar hums steadily red
Its promises of companionship, an overzealous marketing ploy
The seats at the counter are empty, save one, native woman
I don’t even register a glance, making me more, empty

The covers are stiflingly hot, my hair soaking my pillow
Again the light, hope you are interested in light, moonlight
Washes over my ordinary features, it won’t stay long
I drift into sleep in the dark, making me more, sickly

My dreams have me pushing a boulder up a mountain
And jumping from the top to the bottom in a single leap
She’s waiting at the bottom, looking at me with admiration
Here, I am better than I am, here I am more, manly

Reviews

[em]

- there's a lot said about honesty in poetry - and i think its found in abundance in this poem - it takes a lot - to write so candidly - and to put one's imperfections - perceived or real - out there - for everyone to see - especially in a world - where almost everything is about covering up reality -
- i love the sensitivity - the images - the vulnerability - the truth as it is - the end - this is a stunning poem! - it lingers - like look - the last time i looked - in the mirror - at reality -

[Kerry O'Connor]

My favourite stanza is the one in which you intrude upon the doves, trying to fit in - that says a lot about loneliness, right there. I would have to disagree with the idea expressed in the 4th stanza, though: you are anything but ordinary, nor do you need a woman's admiration to make you any more than you already are. Well, that's in my opinion anyway :)

[Nobody.]

great piece dude. love the Sisyphus reference. you always kick a*s...honesty and pure power of struggle bursts through every line.

Gimme some of that candy bar man!

cheers!

[Brad]

LOL! i usually have to throw in a few vodkas and then i look damn good! i hate it when they sober up in the morning and they see what i really look like

[Aven]

"Here, I am better than I am" really struck me... powerful write here...

[jenniewren (J.W. Bouwma..]

there is such a poignant vulnerability in this piece. very self-deprecating.. but then, you know, we are all our own worst critics. we can only hope to find the one (or ones, cos sometimes friends can also cast this light) in whose eyes all of our imperfections turn into the things that make us so very perfectly ourselves..

[A.Lee]

"I might look better if you turn down the light love
Its quality makes my nonsense a gleaming halo"

I love those lines. We often do feel out of place. We long for someone who's waiting for us, looking at us with admiration despite the faults we think we have (or even may really have). Most people don't have that...

[c.m.]

It's always nice to have someone make you feel better than you are...sometimes you need it. Poem is lovely, I love the "making me more," parts, and the way you split them from the words after them. It create such deeper meaning than if you'd left out the commas. To me anyway, I'm sure I sound like an idiot. Favorite part...
"I might look better if you turn down the light love
It's quality makes my nonsense a gleaming halo"

Beautiful poem, love. One of my favorites.

[Amy Bumpas]

What a strong, powerful statement, and I actually found
myself feeling sad while reading this because there are so
many people roaming around here feeling like this.

The scene in my mind was a hobo, someone forgotten.

[emmajoy]

When someone can write like this the self-esteem is assured surely?

The way you place yourself here and there, then mark yourself low is sad, sad, sad .. but that last stanza just proves something .. with love you can be a hero!

That final word at the end of each stanza is quite a ploy, somehow accentuates the way you see yourself.
re: light ... 'Its quality makes my nonsense a gleaming halo' is a great line