That’s where my soul was, the first fifty years of my life
When it arrived last Monday
Packaged with an assortment of meats and cheeses
I wasn’t sure of its purpose, but the charcuterie was delicious
In memoriam
Was stamped across my heart at age fifteen, when he died
It beat like an iron fist from then on
Bludgeoning to death, commitment after commitment
Changing my smile from most lovely to sardonic
In Limbo
My mind drifted, once sharp, once a filter for minutia
Turned the consistency of decaying flesh, quivering
Flecked with bits of nostalgia and nuggets of desire
Leaking from too small ears and flared nostrils
In sensitive
Then you stole my watch on the train
I grabbed your arm and said you could have the watch
You told me the time before you disembarked
It was later than I thought
when words are involved you have a good wayof thinking, from what i have read, damn you got me, lol i had to go back to read, food for thought I'm still falling ,but your gift for words have great meaning. all i can say is good way to express ones feelings.
This is so brilliant, you put us all to shame. We hardly ever see something this profound & palpable at the cafe, despite many excellent writers. There's just something wholly unique about the way you look at every single thing you write about. You make me want to try on new perspectives. Come at things from unexpected angles. This piece is so satisfying in terms of word-crafting, as well as meaning. The "in" words are thought-provoking choices. In case I go sketchy between now & then, here's wishing you & your loved ones lots of Christmas cheer & hopefully some togetherness, too! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
wow how nice it is to read a new Crowley poem:) so nice to see you and even better to read you! The mechanisms of your portrayal are so unique I got a little sigh just from reading the first stanza ahhh a crowley line:) and then i had to look up charcuterie LOL I will always love your sardonic smile my friend
This reads to me like that butterfly in the amazon causing tsunamis in life, where our soul awakens only to be beaten into submission, just as we are reaching the time in life of finding ourselves, numbing us to the realities of a not so brave, grown up world. But amongst the chaos we find a path and then we find ourselves further along that path, knowing a little bit more of the journey, if not understanding it fully. We find acceptance of that journeys fluidity and that we are not in as much control as we think.
In my head at least, letting them keep the watch shows an understanding beyond my own, but I am a slower walker these days and the watch I wear is quite heavy, I might get there yet.
This is far better written than I have given credit for, but will be read again and if time is kind to me, I may just see and understand more when I get there.
Only time and second reading will tell, but impressively done.
Well, the years do leave their marks, don't they? The last two verses make the poem. I think the other's disembarking speaks of a loss. The last line indicates a lesson was learned from it.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Too many lessons sometimes. I am a man, I'll need a list to remember them all. Oh look, squirrel. .. read moreToo many lessons sometimes. I am a man, I'll need a list to remember them all. Oh look, squirrel. Thanks!!!
Woah this was sooo creatively sarcastic and expresses in sublime metaphor, such great word choice, fine chronicling of your life.!! I wondered if the grabbing the hand was metaphor or reality romantic. Kudos for this awesome poem!!!
Plz pleez do read and comment my newest poem too.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Not my life!!! Lol! Well maybe a little like it may be a little anyone’s life. Thanks for the awes.. read moreNot my life!!! Lol! Well maybe a little like it may be a little anyone’s life. Thanks for the awesome review and I will check your writing out!!!
How did I know you'd be here today? Why do we wait soooo long?
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
Yeah, been on the last couple days readin' and stuff. How are you. You have been through the ringer.. read moreYeah, been on the last couple days readin' and stuff. How are you. You have been through the ringer this year, more so than most. Are you holding up? Miss your face!
3 Years Ago
Im the same as always...a survivor! i ve been way worse. I am alive. I am not living in a tent. I ha.. read moreIm the same as always...a survivor! i ve been way worse. I am alive. I am not living in a tent. I have electric, water, internet and cable. I have not lost anyone this year except two stray cats I would feed. I am still walking and talking. I am back to having a steady income and health insurance. I still have alot of work ahead of me...but other than that just miss writing, and having wonderful conversations with people like YOU! How are you?
I imagine somewhere along the line we all get stuck... if not, then maybe we just slip on by unnoticed .. .. this is so cool Crowley.. like permafrost..................
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
I am buried in the permafrost like a stegosaurus...lol. Thanks for the read Neville!!
Oh this is so good....and if you let me run with it, I see someone who grew up too early in life because of circumstances...at fifteen became a man. the lovely smile turned sardonic...spending the first fifty years
trying to figure out who he is.
And turning old like me...mostly what's left is nostalgia...and yet nostalgia for what?
the times when I still haven't figured life out or myself.
Yes, it gets late early in life.
and then we reach some milestone of existence still asking....
What is it for? and saying in answer...oh the hell with it...I'm just going to go for it.
j.
Posted 3 Years Ago
3 Years Ago
I like it when you run, sometimes I learn stuff about myself...lol. Yeah, although this isn't so muc.. read moreI like it when you run, sometimes I learn stuff about myself...lol. Yeah, although this isn't so much about me, just a situation I had been thinking about. some of it actually came from thinking about the last piece I read of yours about the flower children. At what point can we consider ourselves to be decent human beings. There is too much Maslow esque stuff to get out of the way in the fist half or our life it makes it hard, but its at that time we are most idealistic. There does come that point though, you hit it on the head, but I think its designed to be too late, or else we may skip procreation for an interstellar love in. Thanks man!!!
Like to hang out with other writers and see what's what. Have met a lot of good people on this and other sites through the years. Decided to come back and do a little posting and reading. Hit me up i.. more..