Indelible Joy or Pay to Play

A tribute....

Indelible joy lights her face,

playing coy in the lustful sphere…

'tis long she’s kept that fevered pace. 

 

Her fingers, lips, an outline trace

sings rapture songs and baits the deer;

indelible joy, lights her face.

 

Cold morning sparks, gone is the lace.

Her look, no love, an awful leer …

’tis long she’s kept that fevered pace.

 

I leave the womb, a starved disgrace;

she knew that I was in the clear.

Indelible joy, lights her face.

 

That tragic night, I might erase,

but back toward her breast I steer …

’tis long she’s kept that fevered pace.

 

’Til morning light, begins the race;

my coin in hand, a silent cheer …

indelible joy, lights her face.

’Tis long she’s kept that fevered pace.

 

Author's Note

Sorry Margie I know that this is not your favorite form, but this tribute is for Richard and Linda Marie Van Tassell. I can say the bones are mine, but without Richard, all might have been lost. He has been much more than helpful in this endeavor. I am not ashamed of my prose but at times I feel like the ease with which I write is unfair to those who put in the time to construct something beautiful and consuming while adhering to rigid form. The result is almost always amazing when your love of the craft and your hard work and your willingness to teach coalesce to paint vivid landscapes, identifiable character and love as deep as can be described in mere words. I want to thank you for showing the importance of the craft and making me want to have a closer look. I admit that I have read far more of your writing than I have commented on, only because I often feel inadequate. I won't make that mistake again. I will at least tell you how it makes me feel, after all that is the point.

Reviews

[Robert Trakofler]

Oh was this a villanelle? i didn't even notice till I read your note:) LOL nice work thinks that's the point of um me thinks to do it in a way that it flows natural. Structure doesn't have to be stricture the balance is a hard thing to find in composition. I do not value one style over the other they both are a means to conveyance and as you said in your closing line about speaking of how a write makes you feel that is, what poetry is, all about... conveyance:) to disregard Picasso or Monet because they didn't paint like Davinci or Manet would be an injustice to the self

[Crowley]

I agree, and yes after reading yours, I liked the form and gave it a shot with a little help from my friends.

[Richard🖌]

Ah, Crowley,
The incomparable Villanelle, and such an excellent, effectively diligent effort you've put forth to set it into it's most proper and impacting form.
Rightfully so, what you express, too, My Friend … your Free Verse and Poetic Prose has a standing of being amongst the highest revered, most often read, and reviewed onsite … certainly, nothing to be ashamed of. Yet, how wonderful to aspire to spread your poetic wings even broader and soar even higher.
Your choices of picture, color and font presentation, refrains, and spot-on rhymes all combine with exact meter, flowing syntax, imagery, high emotion, and all around grammatical excellence serve to make this a brilliant first Villanelle effort to convey your creativity and deep-felt imagery, of both joy and sadness for the defamed fairer genre of our society.
Still, are we not all humans with hopes, dreams, and aspirations that rise above each of our statures in life? Bless these ladies' troubled hearts and lives, with hopes their gentle souls will be embraced, loved, and revered, as they so justly deserve … as do we all.
What a pleasure and honor it's been to share a wee bit of input into this one with You. : )

Grrreat Villanelle, Crowley, you began with a rather challenging form … my hat's off to ya.
Much enjoyed!
I cannot speak for Linda Marie, but can certainly imagine her impressed enjoyment of this brave first effort! ⁓ Richard 🍃

[Crowley]

Lol, could not have done it without you...thanks so much. Now I have to try another form. Happy Thanksgiving and have a great weekend Richard!!!

[Richard🖌]

Same to ya, Syr!
Oh, I think you'd have figured it our nicely, but what fun we'd have missed, eh?
Lemme know if you need a hand to hold your lamp on the path ahead. : )