Rapture

for a prompt

In rapture I bathed, cautious bones, stone still…

Her breath caught and I thought it was irreverent, but sexy
Shameful, shameful
I should not look at things from the pinpoint of a pig’s eye
Delirious sweats and needs, oh needs
Heated, heated
My desire out of control, does she know of my leaky valve
Pumping, pumping

Reviews

[Rye]

i enjoyed this, i found it very creative

[Dr. YumnaKay]

'irreverent, but sexy' - I like that! Interesting way of viewing how females usually function ;p
I should tell you that we females do have an eye at the back of our heads too ;) so even if we're not looking, we know still what goes around on the other end lool
This one had me smiling. Your word choices are excellent, Crowley. Cool write. ;)

[barleygirl]

This is insanely abstract, yet it paints a definite scene of how our various "raptures" play out. I spent about 2/3 of my life being wantonly hedonistic & feeling guilty for it. It's a damn shame we can't find a balance between hedonism & spiritualism much earlier in life! *wink! wink!* I'm envious at your gut-level sparkling honest ideas thru-out this poem! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Robert Trakofler]

Damn Crowley what a strong narrative thought flow boom boom boom! I can smell the musk from here and why may I ask hasn't this prompted more cause I'm drooling a bit to read more....

[Crowley]

Haaa!!! Thanks man, has to end when I run out of breath though.

[Laurierose]

Rapture, huh? I like this.

The culmination of actions attributed to heightened pleasures. I feel as if this is so very vivid it's as if I'm peeping. Not everyone can capture a moment, hold it still in time, and spell out something magical. It's interesting because it's as if the speaker is saying all of this in pant. LOL. If this desire is past the point of control then the vibe is as readable as print. I imagine the air isn't an air at all, but a sensuous heat only a bath could assuage. Great read!

[Crowley]

lol... that’s awesome. Great review and thanks so much for coming by and reading!!!!

[kentuck14]

Oh desire; the sirens call from the rocky coast . . . a poem of mystery, conflicting thoughts and feelings.
"Fearfully and wonderfully we are made." We lose ourselves in desire and want nothing to stop it. Yet, even in the midst of desire we fight against our finite minds . . . the catch of a breath interpreted as the opposite of what it's meant to be. C, once again your poetic mind has worked wonders with simple words and images. Congratulations.
Tom

[Kelly Scheppers]

Is it me, or do you write like nobody else? I meant that as a compliment, btw...

[Crowley]

Not sure, I do have my own style, it’s comes from the heart in my eye. I see things sometimes, and I love people. And thanks for the compliment, I needed that today!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this is so cool...and made me smile...i love "cautious bones, stone still"
mine have often enough been so stone still that when i started to move toward romance...the brittleness had them cracking apart...
j.

[Crowley]

It’s tough to be head over heals and not feel like a squib...lol. Glad you could identify, careful with that spine!!! Thank you kindly!