Happenstance

Just one of those things...

     The old woman who sat across from Katerina, stared intently at her and occasionally smiled a thin-lipped smile through dry, cracked lips.  Katerina didn’t think she was homeless, her coat was in good condition and her shoes weren’t that old.  Her hair was a frizzy mess but there was a baby blue barrette pinned in it. She was holding a shopping bag with a what appeared to be a few groceries and toiletries and a red patent leather handbag hung from the crook of her elbow.

     Katerina was stressed, nothing seemed to be going her way for the last couple of months.  Her father was wound so tightly about the current world events and talked to her on the phone three times a day minimum, spewing a nonstop stream of ugly rhetoric about what he read in the paper that day or saw on the news. He was angry and there was nothing she could do about it. Work was one crushing deadline after another. In the age of computers and cell phones, it seemed to her that the speed with which people wanted things these days was almost unmanageable and the calls would come in at all hours of the day, night and weekend, there never seemed to be time to just sit and relax. Then there was Dax, the man who wanted to profess his undying love for her every chance he got.  He was a nice enough guy, and cute, but Katerina didn’t have time or interest in love or dating and her brush offs of Dax made her feel terrible.

     Katerina swayed with the rhythm of the subway and let out a heavy sigh.  She looked back to the old woman whose eyes had never left her.

     “You need to drop them,” the woman suddenly said to Katerina in a wispy and gravelly tone.

     “Excuse me?’

     “Your burdens child, you need to drop them.”

    “How can I, I am up to my eyeballs in responsibility and I’m not sure how to, I feel so out of control,” tears started to well in her eyes.

     “Control is an illusion honey, all there really is in this life, are moments and choices. Every problem, every responsibility is a bird that you hold in your hand.  The moment you let that bird fly away you are no longer cursed with the responsibility of feeding, protecting and nurturing that bird.”

     “I have to do my job, I need the money, and my dad, I am all he has.”

     “You aren’t giving them up honey, you’re just letting go of their responsibilities. People will give you as much responsibility as you will take on, just to get it off their back. You seem like a strong, smart woman, you can handle your father by not answering the phone every time, tell him to text you if he really needs something, that you can’t take personal calls during work hours, or better, talk to him about how he is making you feel, he might understand. And work, there are hundred things you can do to relieve that stress once you make a conscious decision that your quality of life and piece of mind is more important.”

     Katerina was feeling better. The old woman was right, no one else could ease her mind or make her life better but her, but how did she know so much about her situation? Her stop was coming, she gathered her belongings and stood.

     “Thank you so much….”

     “Evelyn.”

     “Thank you so much Evelyn, you have made my day, if I can do anything for you give me a call,”   She handed her a business card.

     “Oh no,” Evelyn chuckled, “I’m not gonna be one of those birds, but we might get a coffee sometime.”

     Katerina Smiled and began to walk off the train.  Evelyn shouted behind her.

     “And give that boy a chance would ya?  He’s handsome.”

     “How did you know….” The train doors shut.  Katerina smiled and the city engulfed her once again.

Reviews

[Em_qureshi]

WOW ! this story is just WOW ! I can't describe in words how much I enjoyed it. Keep writing stuff like this

[jsu]

I enjoyed this short story very much. It's typical of a person unhappy with their life as it is, but not letting go of the past. They are condemned to continuously cycle through their life until someone, usually a stranger, offers advice that a friend could not, or would not offer them..... Excellent read. I posted a similar story, which this reminded me of. JSU

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant writing! Some café writers do inspirational writing by posting a "to-do" list of sorts. I tell them people don't respond to "shoulds" and tell it in a story. THIS is the poster child of what I'm talking about when I give this advice. I wish every inspirational writer at the café would read this, to see how it's done. Beyond the authentic lesson with strong details, I also love the way you are so observant when describing all the crap people carry & how that looks, yet also original & fresh in the details you bring to such scenes (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Crowley]

Thanks Margie!!! had to convince myself to write something day before yesterday and its the best I could come up with. Thanks for the love!!!!!

[barleygirl]

Most writers would kill to write like you on a marginal day! *smile*

[Samuel Dickens]

I've never ridden many city buses and thought folks didn't converse much, so this seems to be something a person wouldn't forget. If only I could've met Evelyn when I was young and been steered away from all those wrong turns.

[Crowley]

Thanks Sam, great to see you today!!! Sounds like you and me were in the same boat!!!

[Agyani]

Hey Crowley
The idea you want to express in the story is something everyone can relate with, even those who wear a mask all the time and want to show everyone as callous and pretentious and sentimentalists. However, it felt a little rushed.

Katerina is sitting and notices Evelyn looking at her. The moment Evelyn says something she goes along with her question without thinking about the suddenness or forwardness of the statement. You might argue that Evelyn is one of those individuals who emanate something serene and magical and people don't worry too much about semantics when talking to them. But it would be better if you showed that as well. It felt a little disconnected and forced.
Maybe a few lines about Katerina thinking about what Evelyn just said in the beginning and looking at her; something to make the transition from her self-reflection to a conversation with a nice old lady. :)

[Crowley]

Thanks for the read!!1 I will consider those recommendations for sure!!

[Corset]

a wonderful story with so much to offer, wonderful write :D

[Crowley]

Thanks Girl, love it when you come by!!!

[roarke]

ah, peace of mind.... not enough importance is given to this. C. you set the mood and the characters up perfectly. Then focused everything with the conversation.. and left us all wanting more. Coffee? Next chapter.

[Crowley]

Thanks man...I appreciate the read, hope you are well!!!

[Kelly Scheppers]

That old woman was a pretty smart cookie. I'd meet her over a cup of coffee, anytime. You are a fabulous writer, did you know that? I really loved the rapport between the two women on the subway, and the analogy of a bird being a problem that you hold in your hand. That once you release it, it will fly away...as will the responsibility of protecting it and nurturing it. What a fabulous revelation to build a story around! Two thumbs up for this one, Crowley! I loved it to the moon...and back!

[Crowley]

Thanks Kelly, I know you don't do stories that much so I really appreciate when you come by and read. i like writing, and I love when anyone can identify. This was a really awesome review. Thanks and I hope you survive Hurricane Rosa!!!!

[¿]

Am too happy!!!
Actually because I read this...
This kind o meaningful and happy write makes me feels there's much happiness upcoming from beyond the boring responsibilities in our life...
"Place a mirror on the earth, sky will come closer to it
Life you've chased enough, now lay down and breathe a bit!"....just another happy quote....
By the way....thanks for the example of birds.. also for saying that control's an illusion.....too agreed...Thanks for sharing **smile**

[Crowley]

Thanks for reading and enjoying my little Monday morning mess. Trying to get back to the grind and write a little something. This was the result. I appreciate the kind words. You rock, always!!!

[¿]

You're heartedly welcome!!!😃

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Man, you put these together like Santa...all cookies and milk and shiz...I hear ya...boy, I have alot of chickens to release!lol

[Crowley]

HO HO HO....THANKS Q!!!

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

This was/is such a gift!