Notes on Grant and Green

Its all downhill....

Originally written for a prompt that asked to write in the style of the Beatniks.  I had read an article that while Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road, he taped typing paper into a big roll and started typing without a lot of thought as to form and punctuation.  This was my response to the challenge. Some may have read this before.

It’s hard to be taken seriously as a Catholic when the rhythm of the city and tempering of my thoughts into long steel words flows through people’s veins because they are searching for the point of disembarkation from that littered life to one that is perceived as peaceful and fulfilling. But that jumping off point is fraught with just as many demons each trying to store a little bit of your a*s in a tin cup for the winter months when the sun refuses to sell you even a sliver of hope and your friends are clamoring to borrow a dollar after you already bought the last round. When the slick mahogany surface of the barstool on the second floor of Vesuvio feels like your mothers breast and soothes the beasts that grow like hair inside your chest pounding to get a crack at one of your Benzedrine dreams realized you may be doomed to ride the bus of life forever searching for that g-spot.  My friend if they will not publish your poem then we will copy it on the bathroom walls of our own bookstore a vessel for all of the so called s**t and minutia that will one day be gospel and make other men famous beyond recognition with their utter and complete understanding of our mind because they tell people that they know where our hearts lay.  But how can that be when I don’t know where my own heart beats? This haze kills the public specter after nine and I relax and think not of the past but if I can live up to the avatar created in my likeness or if that is even necessary.  One more time for those who weren’t listening…..I am not a beatnik I am Catholic.

Author's Note

There you have it.

Reviews

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Crowley... I am not Catholic, however I am a Mother and
I identify with Mary. I recently was in an upscale thrift store named
St. Matthews. They have elegant China and so forth... and also somewhat Vintage
clothes at times... and often a few men and women's clothes never worn with
tags securely attached. My latest "catch" a black Cashmere long Winter coat
with a Fashion Label quite quaint. I will be searching for a Cleaner who can
handle such a Treasure. I also now have a Rosary with Beads of autumn hues of
burnt incense ... I found the prayers to say... and plan to worship in my own way...
from my heart to Mary as an emissary. I have an open mind to Salvation and
look forward to the unknown. truly, Pat

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Bravo! I think Kerouac would snap his fingers to applaud your brilliant writing in this ‘Beat’- inspired poem Crowley. I’m sure he would welcome you ‘on the bus’. Your self-flagellating, purification-by-fire diatribe and images are a violent purge, a Catholic catharsis of personal demons. The non-stop, train wreck, stream of consciousness of your suffering words emulate and pay worthy homage to the Greats. I am a Catholic too, and I applaud your kindred, tortured, radiant soul. This is Master Class writing of the highest caliber.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Jack was a Catholic eh? Who would have ever guessed? I was born a Catholic...taught a Catholic...might even die a catholic...still dont totally grasp it's meaning.lol Beatnik poetry another lesson for the day! You are trying to keep me on my toes arent you Cee. Ill be back...probably a few times before its over...right now Im wow(ed) with the same lines as Emma :' .. .. and make other men famous beyond recognition with their utter and complete understanding of our mind because they tell people that they know where our hearts lay. But how can that be when I don’t know where my own heart beats?' How do you not run away with that thought alone...it surely is a keeper! Dude! Your mind is like this BIG beautiful world of it's own...filled to the brim with treasure!

[lightsong]

as I've said, that's different from any other piece I've read from You, my most favorite till now, the brilliance of it shines as if You've poured each drop on Your blood there.

I had to search for (Beatniks) to understand what's all about, what is amazing for me how in these few lines You've sent hidden messages, I read these words and I can see them been read in all the times, society, injustice, freedom, revolution, etc... and want matter at the end, no matter what, Faith.

[emmajoy]

' .. .. and make other men famous beyond recognition with their utter and complete understanding of our mind because they tell people that they know where our hearts lay. But how can that be when I don’t know where my own heart beats?' Tis shorter than some parts but flows if the mind says so...

And there the reader inserts her or his own breath or - way of underswtanding where stresses and sighs might be when drifting words instead of using paddles to move them in and out of light rather than stay in the shadow. Perhaps. A beatnik can be both CAtholic and catholic..hence the ability to be.

Read this twice and found the movment almost too easy. Don' t know if that makes me weird or that your writing makes the crunch.. (Dorset for breaking stone with apparent ease.. arising from the wonderful Portland stone, used all over the world) .

I digress.. As far as i know you style here, your thought and work here, is rare for the coffee (any minutee a hand will touch shoulder and voice will say, 'WRONGGGG!

[Crowley]

Lol...I love that review. It was rather fun to write that because in my mind I didn't even come up for air. And never wrong...you know that!!!

[Crowley]

Well you know that most of the time I hav no use for form either. The words just kind of come out in the shape that they are in. I believe in letting them do the work and I just fidget about a bit until they look shiny enough..lol.

[emmajoy]

A repeat comment because my mind went off kilter..
I was reading On the Road when i knew even less than i do about genres! It fascinated me - rather like a wild garden does. you just want - need, to run through it and feel the rush as you go!! Didn't know why, maybe because i dont like to be restricted by form unless the result would be ugly, cruel. You might or not remember that i've always believed in exploring words, using adjectives as proper nouns, and that in spite of being aware of Latin, Greek, etc derivations! Most form and formaity comes from those who enjoy precision, neatness, form and somehow swing the balance for creation in favour of the round block in round hole and the rest. I wonder if the strict regimen for obedience within the church turns us from similar whenit comes to using language..? The change from bough to bow, the Y and why.. and all that, is hell for non English speakers and almost as bad as.. four us to, too. Yes?

[emmajoy]

By the way, think my non-stop rubbish should be called Emmablatherism

[Crowley]

I would agree whole heartedly. And that non-stop rush is rather endearing.

[emmajoy]

No comment.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was raised catholic and can certainly appreciate this piece...i think i will post a poem on the restroom wall...
at least people will read it, whether they like it or not...just need a bookstore to put the john in...

our local bookstore is closing soon...Kerouac ugh...but i like what you did here...your writing has purpose---and lends a theme to us we can relate to...i love most of the beats...Jack just wasn't one of them...i have this vintage copy of ON the Road...and have never been able to get all the way through it.
j.

[Crowley]

It took m three tries to get through On the
Road but finally managed. Thanks for the stop and the great review, I appreciate it. Happy Monday!!

[barleygirl]

I remember trying to read the beatnik poets & not being able to understand any of it! But then, I never was one to read poetry at all. All that stuff seemed beyond my grasp. I was attuned to straightforward linear discourse, as a mechanically-minded person. I found your riffing discourse here to be pretty clear, as these things go. I wonder if your words are more understandable than the beatniks, or if I’ve just gotten better at nuance from being on this website 2 years?!?! Maybe I should try to reread the beatniks to see if it’s any easier to understand them?!?! Anyhow, I love your rambling contemplation & I wish I could allow myself to forego the urge to make things crystal clear! *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Crowley]

Thanks for the read!! Been of and on this site for close to 8 years but have had some long absences in between. I know what you mean about the meandering. The article I read really did focus on Jack Kerouac being a Catholic as much as a writer, I thought it an odd fellowship. Thanks again!!

[barleygirl]

I wuz wondering how the "Catholic" part of your message fit in . . . thanks for sharing!

[Samuel Dickens]

Not that I'm any authority or remotely qualified to do so, I give you an "A" on this. I remember the beatnik era and was drawn to them and their ideas. I think you captured a piece of their spirit very well.