Boy With Gun (What I Am)

It's really the lyrics to a never-written song and it's been sitting in my guitar case for months. It's a kid soldier's cry.

i've never felt this way before
never done the things we've done together

have never touched like that before
never seen the sights we've seen together

i've never been like this before

i've never done what we just did
i've never touched another just like this

i've never shook so much inside
i've never done this to a life

and now here i am
in a place where we all fall apart

here inside the mind of a killing machine
you put this fire in my hand
here behind where i hide i see everything
i obey but do not understand
who i am

i've always questioned in my mind
i've always learned that things were done this way

i've always suffered through the nights
i've always learned to do just what they say

they've always forced me to obey

i've never done what we just did
i've never touched another just like this

and for the first time in my life
and now i've done this to a life

and now here i am
in a place where we all fall apart

here inside the mind of a killing machine
you put this fire in my hand
here behind where i hide i see everything
i obey but do not understand
who i am

i'm just a child searching for the answer

to why they made me this way
can i find a place where i can remember

the way that it felt like to play
can i recall and where does it hide
in my head i hear the lullaby

my world dies slowly day by day
the stone that i throw screams my name