The Soldier

The story of a soldier....

Bullets firing all around, guns blazing through, surrounded by enemies, no chance of survival, this is my present situation; i just don’t understand why people fight?? And moreover, why this question came in my mind now, at the door of death?? Why couldn’t I ask this before joining the army..?? the only logical answer which I could find was that may be I was fascinated with the pride and honour associated generally with the dressed assasins..!!

Since childhood, I was a very introvert kind’a person..burying all thoughts and feelings deep inside myself, I travelled this mysterious journey of life..but I never felt discouraged like today..may be its true, that a man is enlightened just before his death..what an equation?? A man searches all his life to find this secret of life, which actually emerges itself in the verge of transition of one’s life and death…!!

I couldn’t even blame me for being here solely, family wants money, nation wants security, what so ever be the situation…but what had I expected from them..just a piece of satisfaction, an extra bit of appreciation..speaking the truth, I could earn more ploughing my fields, fill the empty stomachs back home..although I think there are things in this world more valuable than money..pride and honour..and on the pinnacle of those, self-satisfaction..!!

I worked nights, days without uttering a word..thinking my nation needs me…apparently, what needed me was that freezing bunker, which shared its loneliness with me and experiences of wars since ages..running after my seniors, being on the receiving end of those abuses..but the main reason that interrupted my sleep every night was the same question…is this what I wished to do?? Sometimes, leaving alone pride, achieving only subtle satisfaction is a better option. It was during that period I realized, it’s all about freedom a man seeks all the time..earning money, working hard, providing satisfaction to all of them around makes us free for a small instance..for achieving that objective, a man goes through all the problems of the world..!!

I am thinking too much…my hand need to work more than my thoughts…it’s a difficult situation, I should be aware..maybe there’s a cave I can sneak into for a while...that would increase my probability of surviving..ohh..running with all the weapons and this uniform is a big ask..even then, I am at a good speed, I might get there just in time..gosh, a bullet just went besides my shoulder, god’s grace I am still on my feet..that’s it..i have reached a safe place..!! now, let’s see what is the situation of my colleagues..oh lord, it’s a pity, most of them are lying on the ground ailing..and I could do nothing..except being a mere spectator..am I a coward?? A shiver went down the wire..this is me who declared myself as a believable companion..leaving all into death and hiding...but what can I do??

I had told this time, a week ago, when I left home, that I would resign, spend time with all my family and live a peaceful and happy life…but I had a month left to get any renumeration or pension in case I left the job…so after being bound to this situation, I decided to join the troop one last time..then I would get away from all this hatred and evil. This might be indeed my last battle….but may be this battle is within me this time… not with them on the other side of the hill..!!

Thinking too much is making me nausea…even the chest is paining…darn, my body is also now listening to my thoughts… warmness has increased inside my body…what?? blood?? Oh god, there’s a pipeline of blood flowing through my chest..when did this happen??

I tried to avoid it, so I was hiding here, letting the enemy tearing through my troop..and this is it..i am hit by a bullet right on my chest..this was not what I expected..i was meant to be safe, heading back home with money in hand, and dreams in the heart…all the dreams are now shattered by this one piece of metal..my life is gone in vain..!!

Is it really worthless?? Am I a failure?? No, I am not..i have fought all circumstances since I have gained consciousness..and I will fight when I am losing it..this time for ever…I will resist this until the last bit of blood in my body…at least I could kill a couple of hostilities…this is me, standing tall, alone, full of rage, gun pointing at them and smiling….i don’t know why I am feeling this comfort, peace…may be I have overcome all my fears, second thoughts and accepted the truth….this is a marvelous experience…I am enjoying every bit of it within…instead of immense burn on my whole body..I want to feel it…the horizon of ecstasy…I want to close my eyes..lie down on the ground…leaving behind everything…finally, I have realized..this is what I wanted, this is freedom…long awaited, eternal..and completely self-satisfying…!!!

 

Reviews

[sohadtolba]

it is catching.... All what is going inside the head of the soldier is great... By adding more showing/description will make it more and more brilliant.... It is more like a diary than showing the frustration the soldier going through in the battle field... But i like very much the self-awareness and deep thinking.... Good job :)

[Hemraj]

thank you very much for your review...i hope to get more from u..!! :)

[sohadtolba]

you are mostly welcome