Turnstile

The more I press the harder it is to catch my breath. Sunken eyes and joints rigid by dehydration. How I wish it were to rain. As if the sky itself was aware of my plight and felt urgency to relieve me. Pale skin sticking to ribs and torn rags across my crotch. Its cold. However, the last few years ive known nothing but pain an uncomfort. Freedom. However fleeting is what I felt now. No guards. No walls. Sometimes I remember my youth. When humanity still stood at its peak. Warm summers. Cold winters. Genuine smiles and affection. Now I only feel the clock ticking. God, when was the last time I saw one of those. The forrest is thick with mid fall dew. My feet are numb. I've slowed to a snails pace. I reach a hill just to see the sunset. I hold my breath with eyes closed. Basking in the slightest offering of warmth and light. Lord, I can smell real flowers. Tears escape me. I cry and think if my mother. Homecooked meals and not feeding tubes. A home. Love. I fall to my knees and cry out. A derelict and solemn voice. It was then I heard the sentrys approach. I'm weak. Tattered. We really are of a bygone era. I can run no further. Mouth dry and body worn from a life spent in slavery. I crawl to the edge. Right there. A dandelion. Dear god. I wept. What humanity I have left I will take with me. As I fall over the edge. Seeing my last sunrise.

Author's Note

Ignore gram n punct.

Reviews

[Delmar Cooper]

Thanks for sharing.

Scott you really have to quit asking reviewers to ignore this or that. Grammar, punctuation and spelling are all part of the whole. But, since you hit a reviewer who "happens" to be ignorant of grammar, punctuation and spelling count this as a lucky day.

It is really hard to give a useful comment about a fragmentary work. There is more blank to be filled in that context written. The work seems to be a portion of the middle of a story about an escapee in a dystopian world. The story seems to about his odyssey and his personal situation in this world. Where it actually began and where it will eventually end are matters of speculation.

As to the right now in the narrator's adventure my take away is: He has been confined for a very long time. His confinement was regimented and controlled even to the point of automatic nourishment , like a lab rat. He is in a wilderness. He wants to find his people, tribe, settlement, home what ever his past environment was. He has not seen anything but prison for years, but he remembers a time before. That's it.

[Scott Troy]

Thanks for the review. I treat this site like a mobile journal. I write everyday. Something's will be piecemeal. Way it goes.