I SIT WEEPING...

  

 

 

 I SIT WEEPING…

 

I sit weeping under the blue wrap of a new dawn

my dreams of you left with the fading light

Where do all lover’s stars go when Ra’s glaring

reality hits like a shooting comet plunging my world

into uncertainties bedrock?

 

Does the opal moon and diamond stars now

fashion a place for us in the cosmos of new dreams?

 

The warmth of the sun no longer cheers me

butterflies have turned into moths

beating against the window of my despair

 

Do we paint the sky with stars again with rainbow

wishes, or shiver as the flames dowse our

passion with our falling tear drops

 

If its my destiny is to dwell without you

just know that I glimpsed heaven for one short time

here on earth when your sweet soul caressed mine

 

We met in the sweetest garden of eternities time

lovers and soul mates ordained by the God’s

but separated by a cruel twist of fate.

 

Tell me how am I to live without your love?

 

 

© Helena 2008

 

Author's Note

Thank you for reading my words

Reviews

[Pax Analog]

This poem meshes with your striking image so well -- a well of tears, a well of yearning, a well of bittersweet regret.

There is such fullness to your elegant rendering of this sad emotion that it resurrects from downbeat to the beauty of watching a teardrop rich as rain flow in slow motion down a roseate cheek.

No one wants such pain of the heart, yet it etches one's capacity to love even deeper, if that heart can yet remain open to the blossoming blessing of your blue sunrise misting into a dew-drop dawn of fresh tomorrows.

The silver lining in the dark cloud is that Love remains, belongs to no single person, and thus awaits your rebirth.

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

I've read this poem many times and each deepens the emotion within its lines. Awesome work, Helena! Sharon

[J. A. Svercek]

Wow, I really like the metaphor here. You've done a really good job with an overplayed subject, and the imagery is very powerful. Some criticism:

"Where do all lover's stars go when Ra's glaring
reality hits like a shooting comet plunging my world
into uncertainties bedrock?"

In this line, because "all lovers" is a general subject, "the world" might work better than "my world", since the shift from general to personal is very abrupt and muddles the delivery.

Also some spelling errors:
We met in the sweetest garden of [eternity's] time
lovers and soul mates ordained by the [Gods]
wishes, or shiver as the flames [douse] our

My favourite lines would have to be:
"butterflies have turned into moths
beating against the window of my despair"

Very Virginia Wolff.

Thanks for writing,
J.

[These Haunted Hallways]

I really liked this a lot. The powerful impact of emotions were incredible in this piece. Every line was awesome! Tis hard when love is gone. Lonliness creeps so suddenly, and you feel cold and full of despair. I can relate plenty. Wonderful job with this :)

B.A.

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

"Butterflies have turned to moths" struck me as a perfect way to say love ended contrary to wishes. I would read your poem as loss to death although "a cruel twist of fate" might allude to other circumstances, too. Another wonderful line, "I sit weeping under the blue wrap of a new dawn," really speaks of your creative thought, Helena. You've done justice to the sadness of loss in this amazing poem. I've read this one before and just came back to absorb more. Sharon

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

Your final line, "Tell me how am I to live without your love?", is a question few can answer without having lived in the sadness of lost love. Very touching, Helena, with splendid imagery. Sharon

[Sheila Kline]

And surely the blue wrap of a new dawn has enticed this reader to review more of your poetry, as it is passionate, and expressive with words wondrously spilling along The Milky Way!
Beautiful!.......just beautiful!!

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

So many emotions written in this piece. Very well done.

Author: Nancy Lee Shrader

[The DuchessPoet]

I love this!
Wow!
Your words written so beautifully!
""If its my destiny is to dwell without you
just know that I glimpsed heaven for one short time
here on earth when your sweet soul caressed mine

We met in the sweetest garden of eternities time
lovers and soul mates ordained by the God's
but separated by a cruel twist of fate.

Tell me how am I to live without your love?"

Wonderfully written!

[Nassira Merahi]

Your poem is so emotional... it is sad and so well expressed by you. What a talent you have my dear sister. I always enjoy reading your writing because they flow so smoothly and even though this one is sad.... there still a light shining to it! Beautiful poem Helena :)
Salam