Lovers Lost

           You sat on the tip of my tounge

          Lovely

            Quiet

              Seductive

 

Oh barron bitter sweet

 

            I lept to your touch, like a lamb

          Comfort

            Basic

              Chapped

 

I am without, and held within

 

             You call to my want, books on endless shelves

            Provoking

              Criticing

                Indulging

 

 

 I may never have known

The way in which you seduce

That utterance

Here we go

           I simple unknown action

           The blunderings of matter around us

           Building bridges we blinded ourselves

           You mourned to love me

 

Denial

  Anger

    Skip bargaining

      Quiet acceptance

 

F**k..

    Yes, f**k indeed.

 

                       I miss you as you are directly in my path

              Willing me to dance

                  Willing me to sing

                      Willing me to be

 

Will me to love again

   To love of your kindness

        To lend faith to the mirth

 

 

Oh dear love

Man I left behind for another

Hate me please

The love you extend like daggers

Leaves me guilty and sick

Parasitic and reaching

 

My body as it aches for you

 Can not find the footing

 

Reviews

[Taylor H.]

I really enjoyed this :) great job!

[Alessander]

another reviewer remarked that this poem was regretfull, but to me it seems as much defiant as mournful...like the refrence to the stages of grief, and really like the simile "you extend love like daggers" - as a matter of fact, I think this poem needs more such similies..metaphors...images, though it would lose a little of it's directness and play of words, perhaps

Ending is good - a mixture of confessional mixed in with aforementioned figurative language.

[aching.insomniac]

wow, i really enjoyed this piece. i look forward to more of these :)

[C. Rose]

I enjoyed this poem. Not only was the message provoking but the delivery added to the emotion of the subject. Very intriguing method used here. I am impressed with your bold style.

[Tate Morgan]

hmmm A sweet nectar love is but it sours sometimes in reality and I like the excitement in the beginning i find it best to keep the mind set of a child it works wonders for me

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Beautiful work. You could surely make a great song of it.
I guess sometimes it would be so easy if people hated us
when we felt we deserved it. Nothing hurts worst than being
killed with kindness.

[Antonio Valentino]

Heido, I wish I could better express how much I enjoyed this so, other than, I loved it, but I can't.

Antonio

[Laura Nikkinen]

I like how you did the form, sentences drop slowly onto the reader like rain. The love you extend like daggers, skip bargaining... Clever thinking there. And yeah, regret does only so much, I feel you right there.

[ChristianM]

This was beautiful yet filled with pain at the same time. It reminds me of the many time I look back and wish I could have said things differently or expressed myself differently. But those things made me who I am so I try not to look back too much.
You shouldn't either.