The awkward silence in goodbye

The awkward silence in goodbye

A Poem by heido

Even as we say goodbye

I can feel the silence churn

The voice disbelief

The notion that there is no I love you

The very purposeful leaving out of I love you

And God do I love you

So here's my shot in the dark

The words neither of us will speak

The words we feel so deeply

I love you and I miss you and I want you too be happy

Can my heart not love even though we are not one and the same?

Of course

© 2009 heido


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Reviews

This is how the awkward silence usually is. Thinking on the past, and what you are letting go. Thinking of what you would like to say, but can't. We can learn from the silences in our lives.

Posted 14 Years Ago


Beautiful.
You said you wanted critique but the only thing I can see is that in my opinion the one line seems a little akward. Where you say "the verry purposeful leaving out of I love you". Maybee try replacing the words "leaving out of" with something like "absence of". Still overall a powerful, beautiful piece.

Posted 15 Years Ago


Poignant, very emotional, overall I liked the whole poem and enjoyed reading it, somewhat nostalgic also, or maybe it is me, well, nevertheless I find it as a marvelous writing. Excellent poem, keep up the good work.

Posted 15 Years Ago



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Added on April 28, 2009

Author

heido
heido

About
I'm a little on the neurotic side, and you may think I know exactly how this goes but I can assure your following the lost. I couldn't find my way, so I made my own, which isn't right but it's all I.. more..

Writing
Til' Death Til' Death

A Story by heido