Distance Yourself, I'm Nuclear

Its like all I have is this hollow strength,

Its left me empty,

Full of the regrets I can’t release,

I just want to be free.

 

Jesus, why are you far away?

Its like You are holding my heart,

And I am still falling apart,

I can’t seem to stop… did I ever really start?

 

I just want something, any break

From holding my own arms back,

Holding my own in a four sided attack,

As far as I run forward, I stumble back.

 

Nothing is the same,

And I’m just not ready to change.

I’m not strong….

Will anyone believe me

When I scream?

Will anyone be there when I start to shake?

 

I can’t let go of this pain,

No, correction, its clinging to me,

And all I’m blind to is all you say you see.

I want to be there for you again,

I want to be strong for you again,

And I pray you’ll give me a chance.

 

All I have left is my word,

All I have is a promise of strength

All I am is the lie I whisper at night

So I can breathe through my sleep.

I’d die just to be free,

But I’m released in the grace given me.

 

I would love to smile from my eyes

Like I did way back when I was alive.

Jesus, I’m glad you haven’t left me,

Because in the end you are all I need.

 

I can’t imagine the feeling of being weak

Weak enough to ask someone to be

What I will need when I fall again. 

I was dying… where have you been?

 

I wish I could write outside of disaster.

I want to run away, but I’m falling faster

Toward my breaking point, deep in my eyes,

I pray You (and you) will see past my disguise. 

Author's Note

Kinda a stress relief poem, I know I'm a bit out of practice, and its my first writing in a while. The three styles are intentional, just so you know.

Reviews

[Tribute To Jadey]

The three styles here work incredibly well. The flow and rhyme and feel is touching and beautifully done.
A nucular boom you say...Well, this was a wonderful way to detonate.

[I've Killed Lions]

Hey Heidi, im back on and i just wanted to say great poem. It made me realize that when all you can do is rely on God, its best to just give up the fight and let him fight it for you. He sees past our disguise. Great Poem!

[These Haunted Hallways]

Wow, u did a great job here! I could feel everything in this piece. It's with fire and fury at its peak. I've been there so many times. And many times, i do question my faith, and ask the questions, "Where is he? Why would he let this happen? And, Is there a God?" So, yeah, I kinda see where ur comin from tho. I've been there. Im still goin thru it, hehe. Just keep strong tho. You'll pull thru :) Great piece!

M.

[Coyote Poetry]

The title was amazing. Made me want to read your poem ASAP. I like the emotion and the desire of this poem. When someone become crazy and on the edge of losing control. Can scare some folks away. Real friends will stay with till the disaster become controllable. Thank you for a excellent poem. A very good ending to this poem.
Coyote

[OT]

cathartic poems are necessary once in a while! the three different styles work well - I like the structure too - nice!

[Calypso]

I hate the felling you are expressing. I tend to become mad at God when things turn sour. Sure at the beginning I'm fine but after awhile I'm mad at Him.
Thanks for sharing.

[KAREN]

Excellent write! I believe we all feel like Jesus has left us from time to time, but he's always there with us through good and bad.