Shatterproof Smiles And Broken Eyes

Everything you've ever given me comes down to this.

Do you feel okay?

I can't see.

I can't see!!!

You're all I need,

 

God, find me a way

 

To look back inside

Those perfect eyes

And see that beautiful pain,

 

God, is there a way?

 

I miss the windows...

I could see what you know

You couldn't hide from me

In your beautiful soul,

 

Please tell me heaven knows...

 

How I love your eyes

And your smile...

But mostly your fire

That burned in those

Breaking-glass mirrors

That reflect me.

Thank you for being.

 

God, just let me see!!!

 

And in the end, I'll bleed

For those brown eyes again

Somewhere in me,

You're my best friend.

Author's Note

I enjoyed writing this. Please, please review. Thanks. :)

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

Great title! That drew me in right from the start. I love the way you have played with the concept of being blind, or in the dark, or in a room without windows, because you cannot see the eyes of this person. It's a beautiful and original concept. The punctuation in the opening verse gives the poem a sense of desperation, breathlessness, like someone suddenly struck blind, almost a feeling of panic, which is very effective. The short lines and use of all short words with few syllables further enhances that rushed, broken, panicky feel. It gives the poem a real sense of desperation and urgency, as do the italicized refrains, it breaks the poem up into short breathy chunks, but also gives it a really strong emphasis. This is a strong and emphatic write, and use of words like "beautiful pain", "fire", "burned", "breaking glass" and "bleed" give it a rawness and almost a sense of anger. And yet it finishes on a tender note and is overall a very sensitive and empathetic poem. Really like it!

[{A}shley {B}lack @-;-]

Loved the lyrical flow of this piece and the emotions that you emit are both descriptive and produce great imagery this is the first of your work that I have viewed got to say i'm loving it well done keep it coming

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Strong and hopeful!

[Calypso]

I found this to be peaceful. God has been my light threw the darkest parts of my life.

[Nothing Personal]

I can see..As with your other works , this one's a heartfelt piece and I could see your sense of longing oozing out? Boy that pair of brown eyes must be lucky, he has you.I like your title . Very smart..And I love mirror allusions..Good job trainwreck..BTW, why are you trainwreck?

[Undying Glory]

i must agree, this was very sweet work and very deep as well! very powerful poem you have right here, great job with this one.
i noticed you wrote here "God, find me a way". just my random thought, but i think it would be better if you wrote "God, show me a way" or something like that...
impressive write!

[laughinglullaby]

aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwww so cute so very very cute (>^_^