Shatterproof Smiles And Broken Eyes

Everything you've ever given me comes down to this.

Do you feel okay?

I can't see.

I can't see!!!

You're all I need,

 

God, find me a way

 

To look back inside

Those perfect eyes

And see that beautiful pain,

 

God, is there a way?

 

I miss the windows...

I could see what you know

You couldn't hide from me

In your beautiful soul,

 

Please tell me heaven knows...

 

How I love your eyes

And your smile...

But mostly your fire

That burned in those

Breaking-glass mirrors

That reflect me.

Thank you for being.

 

God, just let me see!!!

 

And in the end, I'll bleed

For those brown eyes again

Somewhere in me,

You're my best friend.

Author's Note

I enjoyed writing this. Please, please review. Thanks. :)

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

Great title! That drew me in right from the start. I love the way you have played with the concept of being blind, or in the dark, or in a room without windows, because you cannot see the eyes of this person. It's a beautiful and original concept. The punctuation in the opening verse gives the poem a sense of desperation, breathlessness, like someone suddenly struck blind, almost a feeling of panic, which is very effective. The short lines and use of all short words with few syllables further enhances that rushed, broken, panicky feel. It gives the poem a real sense of desperation and urgency, as do the italicized refrains, it breaks the poem up into short breathy chunks, but also gives it a really strong emphasis. This is a strong and emphatic write, and use of words like "beautiful pain", "fire", "burned", "breaking glass" and "bleed" give it a rawness and almost a sense of anger. And yet it finishes on a tender note and is overall a very sensitive and empathetic poem. Really like it!

[MandaBear]

Amazing write!

[Karina Longo]

Ah, the title is just amazing - but I'm afraid you already know that. ;)
As the whole poem is quite impressive. I like the ending especially, and, of course, the 'breaking-glass mirrors' reference. I was just wondering - did you put 'beautiful soul' and 'beautiful pain' on purpose?
Outstanding write.

[Gone.]

This is a really cool poem... It kinda makes on smile and stuff. I like this part best
How I love your eyes

And your smile...

But mostly your fire

That burned in those

Breaking-glass mirrors

That reflect me.

Thank you for being.



Reminds me of gabby :)

[Michael.]

I wasn't really feeling rhythm but I liked the way it felt at the end.
Like a real built up climax.

[JanuaryDreamer♥]

I agree with Zoe :)

[J.e.s.s.i.c.a]

This is wonderful, I love it!!!

[HopelesslyDevoted]

oh my god... this has to be the best poem i have ever read. this is so beautiful! i have fallen more in love with this one than i have any other one before. BEAUTIFUL! and sooooo romantic!

[~~Mere~d~i~t--h~~]

This is really powerful. I like how it talks about how much they need to person, but then is goes to the hopeless cry of "I can't see!" It's very vERy neat =) well done.

it was beatiful and flowed so well. the emotions are strong and real. just amazing.