There Are No Miracles In My Mirror

Was the ceiling always so low?

The walls keep pressing,

And its getting depressing

That the closing door

Is all I have left.

What ever happened to the rest?

 

All your well-meant words

Sound like a cure

To this hell....

It'll kill me sooner.

Shortening the threads

Of this sword above my head,

Don't cut these ropes

Like a scarf around my neck.

 

I think I noticed

You pray for me.

I guess I could return the favor,

Because these blades are a poor Savior

And I'm sick of falling apart

In my own empty arms.

 

Maybe I'm seeing the light

.....is it just another train????

Well, its reflected in my eyes.

Painting over my stupid past,

The ashes in my blackened hands

Are from this fire within.

 

I swear my ceiling's flying farther,

And this road is getting harder,

I think I'm treading thicker water.

Its this dream I won't escape,

Its the scars, Darlin' its the ache,

And no matter what.....

 

I still see the stains.

 

 

 

Author's Note

It would be awesome if I could get some feedback.
I used to think this way a lot more than I do now. Anyway, any comments are welcome, but if you have something you didn't like, please explain so I can improve. :)

Reviews

[Nothing Personal]

Well I say it's Awesome. Deep , introspective, amazing lines and a perfect play around with the lines. First of, A great title. and second , a Killer last line. It kind of vents the frustrations and the misgivings, talk of a miserable and an unlucky past..But what doesn't? Great Write....I enjoyed it..

[StayStrong123456789]

That was so good, It reminded me how things are at home!!!

[Tex]

What's to improve... this is an amazing write! Your first and second stanzas are award winners.

This reads true, there is not one spot where we hesitate during the read. The emotion is spot on. Just an incredible poem.

Thank you for this wonderful gem.

Nick

[trainwreck]

Thank you Nick! It's always nice to know I've found an emotion to communicate with my writing.

[Lively]

Nice work..

[KAREN]

I think it's a solid write, written well and with deep feeling!

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really dark and cool! Many people can understand this feeling.

[Coyote Poetry]

"To this hell....
It'll kill me sooner.
Shortening the threads
Of this sword above my head,
Don't cut these ropes
Like a scarf around my neck."
I saw no weakness in this poem. Just powerful description and desire to feel alive and wanted. I like the way the poem flowed. The poem had many parts. n the end the poem told a strong story. To find peace in life is hard and can get dirty. A outstanding poem. You made me think this morning.
Coyote

[Alice In My Own Wonderl..]

"All your well-meant words
Sound like a cure
To this hell....
It'll kill me sooner.
Shortening the threads
Of this sword above my head,
Don't cut these ropes
Like a scarf around my neck."

This stanza was amazing. I adored this poem. You captured the emotion greatly. Keep writing :)

[Angela]

I only have positive feedback. I wouldn't change a single word. This poem leaves my throat stinging and my eyes burning. "I'm sick of falling apart in my own empty arms" Incredible line. Every now and then I will find something that I wish I had written, but not very often. There is always a line in your poems that sucker punch me, and this one is it. Your talent is amazing and touches my heart. So much pain.

[Sweet & Tender Hooligan]

That's a intensely dark and moving poem. And a very interesting title choice. I like that you ask questions. It gives it a realistic feel to it. Has we all ask questions of ourselves almost all the time but especially in our darker and worst times.
The imagery and the emotion expressed keeps the reader's attention. Which is one of the best things about your poem. I don't like lots of '....' in poems. It tends to break the flow and make it appear messy. The same device and intention can be better made with spacing or something.
Other than that there's not much wrong with your poem and its a intense and captivating read. I would if I were you shorten the third and fourth stanzas. Keep just the most important parts of those stanzas and make it shorter and just one stanza instead of two. Your writing is appealing and thought provoking.

[~~Mere~d~i~t--h~~]

Another solid Piece.
You can't tell, but I'm applauding you.
=)