The Best Curse I Ever Had

It’s never been easy to look in your eyes.

I can gaze into your soul,

Pretending I know

What to say, or how to hide.

 

If we could fall again, deeper in the sand,

I could hold your heart,

Plead that you not fall apart,

Oh, to hold your hand,

 

To feel a soul, to feel a pulse!

I’m begging you, keep me here,

Whisper away my fear,

My darling, please, hold me close.

 

And now I feel my aching chest,

The cage reserved for a heart alone,

Lungs and blood made of stone,

Pretend, for a minute, I was the best.

 

Baby, I can feel you heal me,

The eyes that I have filled with pain,

Eyes as dark and cold as rain,

And you would kiss me back, with feeling.

 

It’s never been easy to touch you.

I’ve always had to be strong,

My heart, your heart, they ache all wrong,

And yet… You have let me love you.

 

 

Author's Note

I am a little rusty, so any feedback about rhythm and things would be much appreciated.

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

I did not enjoy this. It's too plain and your vocabulary is overused.

[trainwreck]

Thank you for your honesty. :) Is there anything you think I should do to improve in the future?

[sivan]

painful even to read... pulls at my heartstrings.

[trainwreck]

Thank you for your review. :) I hope you enjoyed it, after a fashion, to some extent.

[Tate Morgan]

The aching of the tell tale heart so beautiful

[trainwreck]

Thank you Tate :)

[Tribute To Jadey]

You my dear are nothing near rusty. The rhyme, and the flow are beautifully kept the whole way through.
Such moving and emotional lines. Wonderful words

[trainwreck]

Thank you so much for your review!

[Trevor Bushey]

"Oh, to hold your hand, / To feel a soul, to feel a pulse!"

These two lines in particular evoked a vital throe in me. They effectively encapsulate the essence of the poem. Albeit I might have misconstrued the second line; I imagined that the ambivalent lover, as she held his hand, felt her own soul, her own vital sign.

[trainwreck]

That is very close to my intent, as far as those lines go. :)
Thank you for reviewing!

[Arabdha]

poignant...lyrical...heartfelt ! absolutely loved this one :-)

[trainwreck]

Thank you for the review!

[CookieDough]

Woow! You wrote a beautiful romance! My heart skipped a beat when I was reading this.

[trainwreck]

Thank you so much! I'm glad this touched you.

[Purple Ink]

Beautiful and has so much power. As I read I can feel each emotion as if I am there, very well written.

[trainwreck]

Thank you for your interest :)

[An owl on the moon]

What a beautiful, passionate, bittersweet write.. There is a wondrous longing, and yet a distance there... but yes, loving is such a pure joy. So well said.

[trainwreck]

Thank you for reading my work! :)

[zainul]

You have created a wonderful piece with care on rhyming.
The meaning is quite understandable.
You may repair the first stanza to match its rhyming like the later ones.
Excellent work.

[trainwreck]

Hmm, I didn't notice the first stanza until now. I will consider revising. Thanks for the review!

[zainul]

Thanks a lot.
Then you might love to reexamine the third stanza too.
Its rhyming may be made more smooth.
Love your great presentation :)