butterflies

Butterflies

They are so beautiful.

So loveley and true.

They are the best,

Thing's to look at.

 

Now I am trying to see.

Wonderful Butterflies.

Now the Butterflies are telling me

the worl has gone crazy.

And Butterflies are always on my mind.

I am always wondering whats,

On my mind.

Seems Everyone Is breakening up,

 and throwing there love away.

Butterflies Butterflies.

What will I do without you.

Hey noboy is really going to be in,

Love Forever.

Now I am so lonley without a,

Wonderful Butterflies.

Never has been on my mind,

Not everyday and also,

Everyway,

Now The Butterflies are,

Going to die in vain and,

Also in pain.

Those wonderful.

Butterflies

Reviews

[Ashley.M.E]

This is cute. I love but, a little hard to follow at times, but i got it. In my own opinion I wouldn’t use they are… but that’s just me. I found a few errors, figured you would want them corrected
Line 3. loveley (lonely)
Line 9. worl (world)
Line 11. Whats (what’s)
Line 13. Breakening (breaking)
Line 15. Butterflies (most likely shouldn’t be capitalized)
Line 16. Noboy (No boy? Or. Nobody?)
Line 19. Loneley (lonely)

[PaperHearts]

This was really cute! I thought it was great how you used the metaphor of a butterfly to express a deeper meaning. The imagery that you created made me remember this monarch butterfly tree that my grandma used to have at her house when I was younger. :) There were a lot of grammar/spelling mistakes, and I really think that if you were to go back and proof read a little bit, you could improve your poem a whole lot. Nice work,
~PaperHearts

[GrownUpTime]

very nice a little scattered but i got the meaing. needs a little work to help the flow but nice start.

[Sunflower/Sara Kendrick]

Great thoughtful write...Butterflies add beauty and whispyness to a garden...Also could be a metaphor for something else...Keep the creative pen flowing...Sara

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

Never rush it never helps you succeed

[♥(heatherawesome..]

i did it in a hurry savy

[Tara♥Undefined&h..]

Honestly this was pretty bad. It has no emotions. Its just blank and repetative. Keep trying kiddo You can do it!!!!