Hey everyone, I haven't been around lately ... Apologies, So... I am so glad to be back with my writing family, Gee... This piece is really close to my heart as it is inspired by my best friend.... Hugs are something that make me emotional... cause i dont really hug often! I wrote this , cause i just felt like hugging someone... Well... i would definitely love to hear your views on hugs and how they make you feel! ... eagerly awaiting... and i hope by the nd of this poem , i made you feel like hugging someone! lol... Thanks for reading... glad to be back. and as always.. constructive critiscm is always appreciated.. loads of love - heartspeaks
My Review
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I'm a hugger.....always been, and I can appreciate this poem, for it's something that had to be written. Someone had to note down what it means to be hugged. However, despite the important theme, and occasional juicy line, the poem lacks in musicality. I feel like it's something I repeat often in my critiques, but it's something that's really really important in poetry. If your words don't dance, they have no power. What I notice in this poem is that you attempt to rhyme in couplets. Or so you start off doing so, then you kind of break item and lose the thread only to come back to it by the end (that coming back to it is good, but the way you broke from it was a bit iffy). But since you intend on rhyming, the rhymes are the last beats of the lines, and so the lines have to hit them hard. If there's so much in between, then the lines sound bad. If there is flow (relatively seamless flow), then the words dance, the rhymes are hit with a bang, and your readers have a wonderful experience.....to really feel the magic of a hug!
Now I'm not saying what you have is bad, but rather I'm saying that it could be much better than it is. It could truly be a gem if worked at a little, and tweaked in the necessary places. Good start!
p.s. I think a better word would be "ado" not "adieu" ("ado" means fuss; trouble, whereas "adieu" means goodbye. You could play with "adieu" for a bit of wit, but in that particular line, "ado" would work more.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thanks so much for your critique... I will surely try much better next time... Thanks so much for yo.. read moreThanks so much for your critique... I will surely try much better next time... Thanks so much for your review
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I grew up in a family who loved a lot, but didn't hug a lot. I've learned how important a hug is, and often ask for one, if I feel the need. I give plenty out as well. I enjoyed your poem and the message it contained.
This poem brought tears in my eyes. I want to feel the warmth of a hug, such are your words. I am feeling very alone at this precise moment and your poem made me feel the warmth to have someone.
I agree. The magic of the hug. Needed to be received and given. People need contact and re-assurance. They are cared for and not forgotten. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
Posted 6 Years Ago
6 Years Ago
Very true indeed... thanks for sharing your thoughts .. so much elated you liked it
no criticisms, dear...the poem is very lovely, and the last ending lines are more beautiful, that hug your pillow, if you can't anyone else.
Good poem:)
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you sooooo much priyanshi. Glad you liked it
I've never been a big hugger, but I can appreciate them. You've beautifully expressed what a hug with the right person can mean. Such a powerful poem. Very well done.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
i am not a hugger too... :D But i do like it when people hug.... Thank you so very much.. I always a.. read morei am not a hugger too... :D But i do like it when people hug.... Thank you so very much.. I always await your review
I'm a hugger.....always been, and I can appreciate this poem, for it's something that had to be written. Someone had to note down what it means to be hugged. However, despite the important theme, and occasional juicy line, the poem lacks in musicality. I feel like it's something I repeat often in my critiques, but it's something that's really really important in poetry. If your words don't dance, they have no power. What I notice in this poem is that you attempt to rhyme in couplets. Or so you start off doing so, then you kind of break item and lose the thread only to come back to it by the end (that coming back to it is good, but the way you broke from it was a bit iffy). But since you intend on rhyming, the rhymes are the last beats of the lines, and so the lines have to hit them hard. If there's so much in between, then the lines sound bad. If there is flow (relatively seamless flow), then the words dance, the rhymes are hit with a bang, and your readers have a wonderful experience.....to really feel the magic of a hug!
Now I'm not saying what you have is bad, but rather I'm saying that it could be much better than it is. It could truly be a gem if worked at a little, and tweaked in the necessary places. Good start!
p.s. I think a better word would be "ado" not "adieu" ("ado" means fuss; trouble, whereas "adieu" means goodbye. You could play with "adieu" for a bit of wit, but in that particular line, "ado" would work more.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thanks so much for your critique... I will surely try much better next time... Thanks so much for yo.. read moreThanks so much for your critique... I will surely try much better next time... Thanks so much for your review
...
Hugs are one of the most powerful weapons, just next to love. A hug contains powers unimaginable. Loved your take on them. It was quite relatable. Nicely done!
A warrior with a writers soul. I fantasize too much.
Reading takes me to another parallel dimension. Full of crazy and anonymous dreams.
Writing is my therapy .... helps me to
convey my emotions.. more..