Living a Nightmare

The internecine loss and thereafter,
The blighted plight,
The continuance in Cimmerian shade,
And the camaraderie of the dying daylights,
The ever lengthening shadows,
And the lacerated breeze blowing,
Across the caterwauling Meadows,
The eyes opening only to the realization,
Of the absence of that one benevolent face,
Impossibly solicitous, reassuring and considerate,
The dispiriting sensibility of a deprivation,
The emotional starvation,
A loss so egregious, overwhelmingly monumental,
Irretrievable and insurmountable,
Leaving behind a life, as aimless and vain,
As a purposelessly oscillating train,
Headed for nowhere,
No place to go, no place to be back again,
Only an expansive hiatus,
A clueless clown.
Gesturing fervently to an nonexistent crowd,
In a long abandoned circus,
A colossal abyss, a bottomless pit,
Darkness around,
Not an orifice to let the light in,
No crevice, no aperture, no slit,
An all imbibing vacantness,
An endless emptiness,
A life with the heartbeats and breath sounds alone,
But otherwise,
Torpid and lifeless,
An existence accursed with damnation,
An interminable saga of pain,
A parched terrain,
Pining for long,
The pouring of just a shower of rain,
A deafening raucousness within,
And a harrowing quietude in the air,
Is it life or just the perdition,
With the hell fire descending to the earth,
A depredating disjunction,
A cataclysmic severance, 
A dissolution rendering me,
Never to be the same again,
Ordained for an intransigent existence,
To live life in bits and pieces, forever,
Is it real or I am just living a nightmare,
If not a dream gone horridly hideous,
Do I really wanna know,
I am living where?