Winter Dreams

This is my first story! It's about my battle with Depersonalization Disorder. i only get it in winter whch is the reason behind the title.

       There I stand, looking skyward at the noisy, faded geese. They're probobly making their trip south, to the warm tempretures of a southern states.  Their constant honking annoys me, makes me envious of their flight. You see, I want to be those geese. They can fly away from their problems, fly away from the cold grip of winter wind. I look over and see the scarlet red cardinals, chirping for their mates. I smile at these birds bravery, while I scowl at the geese's fearful trip south. My father calls me in from the bird watching, taking my soul by the hand and roughly bringing it back into my fantasy world. I can not feel winter's freezing teeth for I am numb. Not numb from cold, but numb from my reality, my surroundings. I make my slow creep to the back door and desend down the steps of depression.

     " Depersonalization" the doctor says. He is a young, eager man, probobly with a whole life of possibilities for him.

" Theres no cure, but we can correct the depression with medication." He continues to talk to my mother, wile I stare at the colorful posters on the wall. " What To Do When Someone's Having a Seizure" it's titled. I feel that familer wall rising in my throat. I don't brelong here. The docter hands my mother a prescription and sends us on our way, to our lives he knows nothing about.

     Depersonalization. I type it in to google.com on my oversized laptop. " The feeling that one is losing a grip on reality, the feeling you are in a dream, the feeling you are out of your body." The feeling. I looked up triggers and it ranged from traumitized as a child to loud noises. Mine, apparently, is triggerd by the cold season.

     I describe Depersonalization as a war between reality and fantasy. When the biting teeth of winter come, I feel the fantasy slipping into me. Reality fights it for a while, nefore it completly gives up and leaves. Fantasy fills every crevise and crack inside me, until I am dead. Not in the literal sense, but to myself I am no more. I fall into depressions unwelcoming arms, fighting, screaming for it to let me go. It doesn't intil the sun comes from behind the clouds and the world becomes bright and sticky again.

Until then I watch the geese fly.

 

 

 

Author's Note

ignore Spelling/ punctuation problems. I'm only 14 and this is my first story so its probobly not the best.

Reviews

[Theresa]

You have an amazing way with words:
"They can fly away from their problems, fly away from the cold grip of winter wind."
"I can not feel winter's freezing teeth for I am numb."
"I fall into depressions unwelcoming arms, fighting, screaming for it to let me go"
These are a few of my favorite lines. Wondefully written and gives the reader a little insight to your life. I have never heard of Depersonalization Disorder so of course I had to google it. The symptoms described made me realize that there are probably so many more people with the disorder and don't even know it. Your story may be able to help them. I really enjoyed this story. Nicely done. Thanks for sharing.

[deeps]

I don't think it's bad at all.
I think you did a wonderful job.
Has wonderful imagery and detail.
Kinda sad really, well stated!