This Life

mysterious

This life is a recondite transit

Where our paths might be unknown

We would stop  at varied crossroads

When confused at those strange zones

The sky each day may differ

There could be sun,  there could be rain

It could be blue or could be orange

But on the next pace,  it could be grey

And if ever the times get harsh

That we might stumble and fall

Just remember we're not alone

In going through tight bouts at all

Life is a creek of promises

Springing from heavens above

The rain of life will flow on us

We should welcome the gift of love

But like a battlefield we know

What we purport is to survive

In this platform of test and ventures

After each fall,  we must revive

Life is survival of the fittest

The world is a precarious place

Don't be that weak who cannot soar

Be like an eagle, conquer the space. 

~~¤~~

Author's Note

For the "10 WORDS I GIVE" CONTEST where I have to use the following words in poem:

STOP
ORANGE
GREY
STUMBLE
CREEK
HEAVENS
BATTLEFIELD
PLATFORM
WEAK
EAGLE




Thanks for the inspiration....no writer's block this time. :)

Reviews

[Pax]

"Life is survival of the fittest"

ahh, i remember that quote so well, and you have always that great positive attitude in you pretty friend on which i admire as your friend. You know that quote always strikes me as a good motivation, to survive all the harsh realities we faced and about to stumble upon... life is just like that... wonderful!!!

ps sana manalo ka sa contest :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Nanalo nga. Thank you, Pax.

[hardeep sabharwal]

very well done, especially the last four lines are my favourite , a nice work to read

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you for reading, sir.

[emmajoy]

A quite intense touch of how Life is, how influences take us off course, back again, then.. nudge. You use English, which i believe is a second language - so well.

The quiet flow of words is very fine; tis as if you're spreading your wings, trying to fly higher and higher as time passes. May I ask, why are nine of those words highlighted? Unless you've written for a contest, might be less distracting to have them as their 'surroundings'.

You inevitably inspire, Dhaye, thank you.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Emma, thanks a bunch for the kind words. Yes, English is my second language. Actually, those highlighted words are ten, written for a contest ("Ten words I Give" Contest).
I appreciate your review so much. Have a nice day there!

[emmajoy]

Ah - wasn't sure about those TEN words.. of course now I understand. :)

[highonwords]

dearest dhaye - i like the message of the poem - it's very positive and inspiring - however, i think some choice of words are stilted and awkward - these words disturb the flow of your poem - you could please try to choose words that are simple and easy to say, that'll give your poem something of that simple elegance

my best to you,
steph

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, Steph.
Happy weekend to you!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

BTW, would you mention those words that you think disturb the flow of the poem?

[highonwords]

the word 'recondite', the phrase 'or be confused at strange zones', the word 'differ', 'in going through tight bouts at all', 'avowal', 'purport', 'in this platform of test and ventures', 'after each ebb, we must revive' - and i'm really sorry to tell you these, but the last stanza sounds stilted - the words and lines i quoted makes the poem sound technical

my best to you always,
steph

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

It's okay, Steph. It's your opinion and I respect it. I already changed "avowal" but other than that, I am happy now with my lines. I cannot take out the some of the words you mentioned because those are words given by the moderator of the contest. We have to use the words in a poem.

[highonwords]

hi dhaye, i just got back, oh i see, i'm so glad that you didn't take it personally, thank you for being so humble :)