CHAPTER V. FINDING THE TRUTH

 

“SHOULD I?”

Should I stare at your window like a vagrant
For now I have so much fear in my heart?

Should I sing my plea once more
Now that it's a long while that you've closed the door?

I don't want to feel the blade that hurts
I don't want to see the fire in your eyes.

I am confused. I am scared. Should I?
If I take the risk, still the choice is not mine…

My mind was in chaos. I couldn’t  sleep right away. I don’t know what to do. I haven’t made a good plan. It seemed that I have heard the sharpest word that made the deepest wound in my heart.

“I-I’m married, Billy,” I heard it a thousand times inside my head and it really hurt me.

I want to bang my head on the wall. I want to get out and shout. I want to hit myself. I want to hurt myself…because it’s all my fault!

            I don’t know how I was able to sleep that night.

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           I decided to watch her from a distance. I want to know the truth. I can feel that Margaux did not tell me the truth. There’s that feeling inside of me that she’s not married. I can feel here inside my heart that she still loves me!

            I parked my car on the other side of the road where I can still see her when she’s outside the house. I just want to see her. I just want to see something which will lead me to the truth. I swear, whatever it is, I will accept it as a real man.

            After an hour, Margaux came out. She’s wearing a shirt and short pants. It seemed that she’s not going out because it’s Saturday. The old woman brought the baby girl to her. How happy I was to see both of them!

 

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           Another day, another waiting hours. As I have done before, I waited there in my place to see them. They came out of the house and my heartbeat became faster and faster. It seemed they were waiting for a taxi.

            A car stopped near them and a man came out of it. I was scared. Perhaps she’s telling the truth.

            I decided to leave that place.

           

Author's Note

Reviews

[NoelHC]

How many of us have watched outside a loved one`s place, afraid to go in, afraid to confront, afraid of what may happen. this is good, I have a number of small suggestions to consider changing. these are meant in the sprit of what we have discussed before together.

I haven’t sleep right away. I couldn’t sleep right away.

I want to bump my head on the wall. Bang may be a better description

I don’t know how I was able to sleep that night.

I decided to look at her from a distance look should be watch

She’s wearing a usual pair of shirt should be She’s wearing a shirt ...

Just like what I have done, should be As I have done before

[Dhaye]

Thank you so much, Noel.