DROPS (7/5 Trochee)

healing

Raindrops fall like tears of mine
Join me when I'm sad
Love is such a dream to pine
Come when I feel bad

Time is like a passing thought
What I have today
Dreams like stars I might have caught
Only yesterday

Still I stand under the rain
There I want to feel
Mend the wound, the aches, the pain
Wishing it could heal.

Author's Note

The 7/5 Trochee

The 7/5 Trochee, created by Andrea Dietrich, of 2 or more quatrain stanzas with the following set rules:

Meter: 7/5/7/5
Rhyme Scheme: a/b/c/b or a/b/a/b

The meter is trochee, which means alternating stressed and unstressed beats in each line, with each line beginning and ending in a stressed syllable. This is a simple lyrical type little poem, so rhymes will be basic, nothing fancy. The poem itself should give a description of something of interest to the poet. There is not a set number of these quatrain type stanzas, but a typical 7/5 Trochee would consist of two quatrains, with the second stanza serving to tie up the idea presented in the first stanza.

Credits to: http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/75trochee.html

Reviews

[Eddie Davis]

Dhaye, I love the flow and meter of this poem. Of course I had never heard of a 7/5 Trochee until now. One thing I'm wondering about is 'Dreams were stars that I might caught' -- is 'might caught' a mixed tense? It sounds 'funny' to me, though honestly, I'm not sure if it is wrong or not. Perhaps 'Dreams like stars I might have caught'?

[Dhaye]

Ah, yes, "I might have caught only yesterday". Sorry for that, Eddie. But I really thank you for checking it. Mixed tense is always my problem and my pieces are really waiting for your help. LOL

[Eddie Davis]

You are most welcome.

[Aethereal]

I really enjoyed reading these verses: They inspired me to write my own version as a gift poem for you which you may keep as your own to do with as you like: It sings, sing along:

Healing Rain

Her tears fall like drops of rain
when she’s feeling sad
wishing love would heal her pain
when she’s feeling bad.

All her dreams are falling stars,
hopes that fell away
crashing as they burnt to chars
only yesterday.

In the rain, she braves the morn
hoping she may feel,
mend the wound, and pull the thorn
give it time to heal.

[Dhaye]

Thanks a lot, Ae. I really love your version here. A smile for you: =)

[Aethereal]

You're welcome! There are most likely ten more versions of your poem yet to be thought of, but yours is the nurturing mother for them all There’s just no other when little stars fall.

[Dhaye]

We're just the same. Sometimes I am motivated by others' poetry. There are times I only make response pieces to my friends' poems which serve as my muse. Sometimes a striking word is already a muse then out of it, I can make different versions. LOL.

[Twisted Words (Tom)]

I love this; the flow and theme. The scene fits with solitude and thought. And I always like to learn forms.

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Tom.