HE LOVES ME

    Photo from: Photobucket.com


One afternoon that I was alone
I went to my garden and picked a flower
I remembered him and felt bad that moment
So I decided to play a game

One by one I plucked the petals
While uttering the magic words
I was afraid of the possible result
Ah, if only I could tell him all

Then the moment of truth  came
When there were only two petals left
I plucked the first one and said "he loves me"
Only to end with "he loves me not".

Author's Note

Archetype
An original model or pattern used to symbolize an event or person.

*Here the plucking of petals is believed to be a way of knowing about love. The last petal will determine whether someone loves another or not.

Reviews

[Eddie Davis]

Nice poem (though the font size was a bit small for my old eyes), and believe it or not, I have actually heard of 'Archetypes'. In a game of pedal plucking, I'm for cheating. When the situation in your poem arises where the second to last pedal is 'He loves me', I say pluck the last pedal and happily exclaim , "He REALLY loves me!'. Or perhaps pluck off the stem to bring back 'He loves me".

[Dhaye]

That would be funny but that's how we play the usual game on flowers. Okay, I'll change the font size for the other old eyes that will visit this page. LOL
Thanks, Eddie.

[Aethereal]

This was a pleasant picture poem. The real questions are:

Does he feel love, or does he not?
If he feels love, then what trigger's it?
Do I trigger it, or does his pet muskrat trigger it?

Love is neither given or taken. It is just a triggered mood.

[Dhaye]

"A triggered mood"...something I've learned today. Thanks, Aethereal.

[Aethereal]

You're welcome! This is how Psychologist see it.

[Aethereal]

I just wrote my version of a poem about a triggered mood: It's on my site now. It's called "Love's Trigger". The best thing to do is to compare your poem with mine.

[Dhaye]

Okay, this is a new version. I think I can make many versions of this poem. LOL.

LOVE

They say love's a triggered mood
Something like to deal
Love me back? I can't conclude
What I truly feel.

Hope you love me as I could
We both have to seal
Don't be fake, try to be nude
I wish we could heal.

Do not put in veil or hood
Try not to conceal
Show me truth, please don't be rude
Something you shan't steal.

I just wished to love you, dude
Do I have to kneel?
If you feel the same for good
We have to be real.

[Aethereal]

You almost did it. You can't mix the "ude" sound in "mood, conclude, nude, rude, and dude" with the "ood" sound in "could, hood, and good". Do you mean:
Something like "a" deal.
What do you mean by "We both have to seal."
Do you mean: Do not put "on" veil or hood"
"Something you shan't steal" could fit into the verse better.
If you feel the same for good" could fit into the verse better.

[Aethereal]

You must be trying to express how your lover should behave in order to trigger the emotional mood of love in your brain. The main love trigger for your brain seems to be that his love mood is triggered by your presence as well. Love isn't taken or given; it’s just triggered by cause and effect influences most of which lie within the subconscious. Emotions are complex induced motivations.

[Aethereal]

I just placed two versions of “Love's Trigger” on my page in two parts one under other to give you two examples of how a poem such as this is written. If you wish to write a third version, that is your prerogative.