INTO THE SEA

Same old story...

I won't forget the day you said
That you will love me forever
And with that glow on my finger
I entrusted to you my life
My past
My present
My future
All of me
Is yours.

I don't know why you left me
Sailing alone
You turned your back
While I'm here
Waiting for your help.

You waved your hand
Like boasting
The absence of your ring
While curving a confident grin
From that face I longed to touch
But slowly fading from my eyes.

Into the sea
You left me
Drowning
From the misery
Of your retreat
But, no!
I have to struggle
To swim
And live for you
Because I still hope
That one day
You'll come back
To rescue me.

Author's Note

Reviews

[Sir Joe]

The ability to provoke an emotional response from the readers is one of the qualities that make up a strong poem. And that ability or power is possessed by this poem of yours. I felt the need to sympathize to the poetic persona.

The first stanza tells of a promise made by the poetic persona and the addressee to each other during their marriage. "And with that glow in my finger" is the line that gives the clue about their legal union. Marriage, as a special contract between couples, is meant to bind their tie for all eternity. That's the reason why the poetic persona decided to give her all to her husband.

The next stanza reveals that her beloved left her for reasons that she doesn't know. Or perhaps she knows the reasons but she just can't accept them yet. Probably it is true that sometimes, we say we don't know the reasons why some terrible things happen to us even if we really know why they happen. Maybe it is just a matter of acceptance.

Further in the third stanza, she reveals that her beloved already decided to break away from his bond with her. The third and fourth lines of the stanza ("The absence of your ring/While curving a confident grin) suggest a marital break-up initiated by the speaker's husband. The removal of the ring from his finger and the grin show how he willfully broke the relationship.

Hopeful as she is despite the heart-breaking circumstances, the poetic persona is revealed in the last stanza as a woman of strength. However, her strength is accompanied by much hope that may either rescue her from misery or tear her apart.

I'm thinking that the poetic persona is married to a seaman. Hmmm. Does the poem tell the story of the author? Such an interesting question.

Anyway, I wish to suggest this very little change which I believe will make the first stanza of the poem sound better:
I think the line "I entrusted my life to you" will jive better with the following lines if is it changed to "I entrusted to you my life".

Dhaye, what a nice poem you have again this time.

[Dhaye]

Thanks for the suggestion, SJ. I have changed it.

Please forgive me if I can't answer that "interesting" question of yours.
I have many poems with the same concept. Perhaps you haven't read them because it's been so long that you're not here and most of them were compiled in my books.

Thank you so much for spending your time into this poem. =)

[Dhaye]

P.S.
"I felt the need to sympathize to the poetic persona." --- There's no need to sympathize to the poetic persona. It's not the aim of the poem. Have you read the description above? "Same old story..." Thanks again, SJ.

[Dhaye]

Another thing...pag sinabi ko bang "sea" ... may "seaman" na agad? Hindi ba pwedeng medyo gumamit lang ako ng symbol? LOL

[Sir Joe]

That's what I felt. Is there something wrong with that?
Whatever my interpretation or presumption is regarding the poem, or the "sea" in particular, I guess there's nothing wrong with that, all the same. Who knows if you used symbols? Only you, I believe. So the way I took the "sea" in your poem is not at all questionable. Besides, a poem can speak in different ways with different readers.

[Dhaye]

Oy, changing mood? There's no wrong in your interpretation. Anyway, that last comment of mine was a joke for me. I don't expect that the part which is obviously a joke will be the one which can change your mood. LOL. Peace be with you always.

[Sir Joe]

Ahhh. I didn't know that was intended to be a joke. I'm sorry. I didn't change my mood. I was just surprised by your response. But now I'm good. Now I know you meant no offense. (Smile)

[Dhaye]

I didn't and I won't mean to offend because I'm trying now to be in good mood always. I want others to smile, too. My best wishes to you...and to all my friends.

[Sir Joe]

Have a great day, Dhaye.

[Frieda P]

Very sad tune, makes me want to sigh heavily. Yes, same old story, but it happens to so many, can intrinsically relate to your emotions here Dhaye.

Did you mean glow 'on' my finger'?

[Dhaye]

Thanks for the visit, Frieda. Oh, another thank you for that keen eyes. LOL. I'll change it.

[Frieda P]

Welcome, I know sometimes you look at your poem and don't catch it since you know how it's supposed to read, do it all the time. :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

The lesson of love. Last wish is always hope. I like the journey into and out of love in the poem. The sea allowed us to understand. We can sink or swim. I like the positive ending to the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Dhaye]

Thanks a lot, CP.

[mournful bear]

WOW beautiful; once again!!!!!!!!!! it always feel like your at sea, the tears make a sea out of things. all alone surround by water. swimming is not easy these torrential rain can drown us if we don't to survive.

[Dhaye]

Thanks for stopping by.