DROWNING (Senryu)

a senryu

Much suffocated
I can't breathe or see you here
Save me from drowning.

Author's Note

Senryu
A short Japanese style poem, similar to haiku in structure that treats human beings rather than nature.

Reviews

[Eddie Davis]

Very nice, I was drawn to the title, as I had an idea for a poem with the same topic. Good job, I love your Senryus.

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Eddie. Written last November. I just made it as a chapter to be included in my book "Poetry and I"

[Neon]

OMG! What a stunning women inside the ocean... hey!
is she alive ..please tell her .. am coming to save her
Don't take tension, am made for her
tell her she's damn beautiful just as an angel
OMG! Her scent's driving me now crazy ... please call her! Ha!

Hey, Dhaye, if you know that stunning woman who's standing the middle of the water then please give her my cafe's site address and tell her also that am a prince of her dreams.

[Dhaye]

You're funny, Neon. I have a moving piece here but you're joking. Thanks for the visit.

[Neon]

Ha! yeah.. I was kidding but yeah, i really enjoyed the poem. OMG! In front of the beauty of that blue ocean hot woman i skipped outta my mind to review the poem .. lol

Anyway, here's a thing ..

This piece's very nice ... afterall she's calling me to help her .. to take her out from that ocean .. but hey! I think i should leave there in the ocean coz, blue ocean's making her beauty more beautiful and stunning ...

I really enjoyed reading the piece, the emotions're magnificently poured into it but OMG... the pic.'s damn stunning, the Woman's freaking mah mind now. I hope you could pasted here the video of that stunning woman instead of a pic.. lol

[Sami Khalil]

I'm drowning in those words and emotions...Bravo..........

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Sami.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)..................