Poem 6. GIRL IN THE RAIN

Who is she?

I saw someone standing in the rain
Then I shouted to him, "Hey!
Why are you standing out there?
Don't you feel cold in the mizzle?

He just looked at me and smiled
So I ran fast at his side
I offered my coat and opened it wide
But oh, he still refused to hide.

I looked at him in confusion
He don't even have a motion
But he smiled again in distinction
Of his great joy and satisfaction.

I can't contain so I asked, "Why?
Why in the rain you never shun?
I thought the rain is heaven's cry
Her sympathy when someone's down?"

"My dear, my dear, the rain is nice
Just try to feel it, see the prize
It heals and fixes broken hearts
It nourishes the empty minds."

And so I moved to drop my coat
There in the rain, I stopped, I stood
I felt the drops, Oh, 'twas so good
It made me free, it mends, it soothes.

But when I looked at him again
Nobody's there with me in the rain
He left without a word to say
I'm the only one standing there.

Oh, if somebody would see me here
I want to show, I want to tell
The same story, the same old tale
Someone who'll save me as Girl In The Rain.



 

Author's Note

Just an addition to my collection. I made a little twist about the tale...

Reviews

[gabrielle]

You really got that fascination of the rain, dhaye. ^__^ in this piece, you perfectly presented different perspectives. the girl who think she needs to save someone from the rain and the mysterious man who showed her that there's beauty under the rain.

[Dhaye]

LOL. There's a twist in there. Actually, a person said to me that rain is good...so I believed in it. I made a different ending like in the short film I have watched (Thirst- the thirsty man cannot drink water because of depriving someone of his thirst. He was cursed, that he can only return into reality when somebody give him water. And so the story of curse repeat and repeat.) wherein that man in the rain is "cursed" and he can't stay out of it if nobody take his place under the rain...Then the girl, she is that saver...who is now waiting for someone who will take her out of the curse.

Hehe. Naghalu-halo na yan. My fascination about rain + concept of the short film. Patang ang dami kong gustong gawin kaso nagagalit na yung kasama ko sa school paper kasi di ko pa tapos and Sports Page. Di ko kasi type anf sports eh, no choice lang.
Thanks, Gab.

[gabrielle]

me mystery pa pala ang poem na ito. i was thinking that someone would likewise offer her an umbrella that would lead to something sweet such as both of them dancing under the rain. hahaha..multi-tasking ka na naman. welcome dhaye.

[Dhaye]

Uy, another idea..."Dancing in the Rain"..nice title. Addict na yata ako sa rain ngayon, Gab. Dati puro nega ang concept ko about rain, pero now...andami palang magagawa jan. Actually I'm making a book about rain + wind and moon, the title of the book is ECHOES IN THE RAIN. Haha! Thanks, Gab. Gagawan ko yan from the concept you have given. Yehey! Kailangan kong makabuo ng book na ibebenta ko sa mga mami-meet kong tao this December kasi...kaya excited ako gumawa. Kaso daming hassle...daming duties. Eh eto naman yung passion ko....kaso ang kinabubuhay ko sa teaching. No choice. Hehe.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Not only wonder who the girl is but also who is the man? Maybe a guardian angel. I like your poem and like you I also like rain.
Something calming about it - as is your poem.

[Dhaye]

Thank you .

[Chloe..Across the Universe]

you are welcome the poem is beautiful

[iliOZ]

i believe we all have multiple personalities and we all are multiple persons too.
a poet has a way to make them come alive and make sense among them.
once again, you took me.
thanks.

ps. second verse first sentence, last word should be in past tense(?) smiled?

[Dhaye]

Ah, yes. Thank you for the correction...and for dropping by.

[Sami Khalil]

Oh, this was ghostly and wonderful along with its imagery. I'm touched by the rain too for it is soooo romantic...Bravo

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Sami.

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).........

[Tom]

A ghostly apparition led this person to the joyous freedom the replenishing rain brings as it falls on top and all around !

A creative, happy poem !

[Dhaye]

Thank you for dropping by, Tom.

[Pax]

I agree with Gab, you must love the rain so much that it became your muse everytime you write...

There is beauty in the rain...
There is pain in the rain...
There is nourishes after the rain...
everything has its reason, the rain is just another reason
a saviour or a poison...

[Dhaye]

"a saviour or a poison."..I don't think so. Before, rain only gives me the feeling of depression and pain. But now, I have a different outlook about it. But in this piece, I made a twist in the end because I remember the short film I've watched.
I'm not too personal with my pieces now, Pax. Mostly are fiction. I haven't interviewed any person to have a different concept, so I watched short films and even movies lately. Basta, halu-halo yan. Hehe. Parang andami kong gustong gawin kaso budgeted ang time. LOL. Multi-tasking pa rin...Open lang to pero may ibang gawa. Hehe
Thanks, my friend.

[Pax]

it's just a hypothetical circumstances I see, its still needs to be proven but either way its a posibility... :) sabi mo nga..."only gives me the feeling of depression and pain" we all know depression is a start of a dark path, it depends on how you handle things diba... keep it up my friend... madami na tayong muti-tasking dito..hehe.. and your most welcome...