CHAPTER V. THE HELPLESS

       

Since that fearful day, that incident was unforgettable for Alyssa. Time after time, her nights became a little shaken. She becomes fearful with loud voices.

She always had these recurring dream about her running away from a horrible monster on which is trying to catch her and probably devour her being. Her night became restless from dream to another dream, she woke up screaming. She cried and cried almost every night until she never wants to fall asleep again.

As days passed she became vulnerable and sensitive throughout the day. Probably because of lack of sleep. In addition to that she now has an inferiority complex towards people with large voices. Many have noticed the changes in her. And rumors started flying around that she’s a weak and helpless girl.

“No! I am brave, I can do this.” she motivated herself.

She tried to overcome her fear, but there were times that she was trembling in front of some friends because she had heard a very loud voice that started her fear all over again.

Her fear never stopped her from running to be a candidate to a campus election of officers. But then all her efforts were in vain when she ranked second on the election tally. She didn’t make it. Because her parents are too preoccupied with work and to her younger siblings, she has no one to turn to so she cried alone.

Reviews

[Pax]

My editions:

Since that fearful day, that incident was unforgettable for Alyssa. Time after time since that day, her nights became a little shaken, she becomes fearful with just a sudden loud voice.

She always had these recurring dream about her running away from a horrible monster on which is trying to catch her and probably devour her being. Her night became restless from dream to another dream, she woke up screaming. She cried and cried almost every night until she never wants fall asleep again.

As days passed she became vulnerable and sensitive throughout the day. Probably because lack of sleep. In addition to that she now has an inferiority complex towards people with large voices. Many have noticed the changes in her. And rumors started flying around that she’s a weak and helpless girl.

“No! I am brave, I can do this.” she motivated herself.

She tried to overcome her fear, but there were times that she was trembling in front of some friends because she had heard a very loud voice that started her fear all over again.

Her fear never stopped her from running to be a candidate to a campus election of officers. But then all her efforts was in vain when she ranked second on the election tally. She didn’t make it. With no one to turn to, because her parents are too preoccupied with work and to her younger siblings, so she cried alone.

My comments:

~ Sorry pretty friend, I feel like I over done it again. I almost re-written it all. Maybe because you left some little details behind – fast track kasi - I tweak most of all the sentences for a smooth flow and nothing left behind to be questioned – I hoped.

Things I like about this chapter its shows:

How vulnerable a person is.
How bad situations turns into somewhat a phobia.
How sleep deprived makes you edgy and unfocused.

I think this girl in the storyline is not weak. All was just on her mind. I think she just needed a little inspiration to get away from all the problems. An inspiration that will think her otherwise about her life.

~ Now I hope you liked this. Nicely done chapter pretty friend.

[Dhaye]

Thanks a lot, bro. =)

[Pax]

your welcome, akala ko na ubusan ka na ng ice diyan...hehe :), more ice please..hehe
but really i am glad it help somehow...

[Dhaye]

Look at my edited version an your edition. Find the difference..LOL. Thank you so much!

[Pax]

di kaya masyadong redundant to:
"no one to turn to so"-- doube yung to
"because of lack of sleep."-- doube yung of

at saka pahabol nito:
--- running to be a candidate for a campus election
--- complex towards people with loud voices.

[Pax]

oo nga no...ok na yung to turn to pala...hehe

[Dhaye]

Ay, copy paste kasi...hehe. But hindi redundant yung "no one to turn to..." okay lang yun. At saka yung "because of" is a preposition which also means "on account of", "by reason of"...kasama talaga ang of doon...then " lack of sleep" is the stated reason. Same with "no one to turn to".

[Pax]

ahh i see..

[Coyote Poetry]

A strong chapter. You said a lot in the short chapter. Bad memories can shape our thoughts and life. I like her thoughts and desire to overcome fear. Thank you for the excellent chapter.
Coyote