Old or Young?

Dodoitsu Poem in Trio

Poem 34

When I was ten, mother asked

To cook our meal on that day.

I refused then she got mad:

“Why? You’re old enough!”

 

When I was fifteen, I heard

My mother shouting in wrath:

“Hey, what are these love letters?

These are not for young!”

 

When I was thirty, she said:

“Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

I said to her: “Tell me first,

am I old, or young?”

Author's Note

Inspired by Dodoitsu Poem of Sir Ency

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A fun poem to read. Funny how questions can change with age and time. Thank you Dhaye for sharing your wonderful poetry.
Coyote

[Dhaye]

Thanks a lot for reading, sir.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome dear Poet.

[Mauricio Montoya]

its works like this that stir my thoughts, we all go through this in life, you brought back memories that have left me to ponder now that I am old.lol.
Excellent write.

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Mauricio .:)

[Brianna Brie]

Clever little write. It has a bit of a mouthy bite. Enjoyable.

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Brianna. :)

[Imara]

Haha as a teen I connect even more with this. So true! Mothers can't make up their minds. I love the way you tell a story here and give a strait forward meaning to it. The bit of wit at the end is great! Amazing job!

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Imara. I'm glad you like this piece. :)

[gabrielle]

The conversation sounds...well, so familiar... and it gave me a good chuckle. i like reading short, light and fun pieces like this. great job kabayan.

[Dhaye]

Thanks, Gab. It's my first attempt in making such Dodoitsu poem. I made it through the help of Sir Ency, our other kabayan. :)

[gabrielle]

he's a common friend, dhaye and i read one of his dodoitsu poems. hopefully i could create a poem using this format in the future. these kinds of poems are so new to me. i only knew of sonnet before i joined here. lol

[Dhaye]

Sonnet? That's nice. I haven't tried it yet. It's good you knew how to make that kind of poetry. Can you give me the title of your sonnet. Perhaps I should start learning now how to make one. I hope you could give me a little time to review it if I can make one until tomorrow. Thanks for the visit. :)

[gabrielle]

I am familiar with the sonnet's technical form. but i find it too rigid and it’s too taxing (for me) to follow. Lol. i think “The lament” and “Love a reflection” follow the rhyme scheme of a sonnet but I barely call these pieces sonnet because I was not able to follow the correct meter and correct syllables. You may check out Shakepeare’s Sonnet 18 or Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XVII for better reference. Welcome dhaye.

[Dhaye]

Okay, I am having now a little research. There are different examples from different "sonneteers". I also came from your page to search for your sonnet though I don't know yet the title. At least I know now what to read. Thanks. :

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

:) she ended as single till 30? lol she never got a chance. lol nice job.

[Dhaye]

I just made it funny, According to Sir Ency, Dodoitsu is usually comical.
Thanks for reading it. :)

[Marc Marlon Villaflor]

oo tama yun even senryu ganun yata comical din

[Dhaye]

Hindi kaya. Sabi niya kanina, perfect Senryu nga daw yung "Two Days" ko. Weeeh...

[Shivam Murari]

loved the message. repression by parents sometimes affects their children's life in a much more adverse way that it could have otherwise.

[Dhaye]

Thanks for dropping by, Shivam. :)

[Shivam Murari]

you are welcome :)

[Ency Bearis]

ha, ha,ha nice one - I loved it. But you only have 6 syllables in 2nd stanza it should be seven. May I suggest to complete it - To cook our meal on that day.

[Dhaye]

Ay, oo nga. Iba kasi dati yang line, pangit pakinggan, binago ko...kulang pala. Hehe. Thanks po. Sabi ko sa inyo, mentor ko kayo eh. Hehe. :)

[Ency Bearis]

Okay now that's perfect.

[Dhaye]

Yes! I did it. Thank you for guiding me, Sir. I've learned another kind of poem this day. :)

[Dhaye]

Sir Ency, this is my first Dodoitsu poem. Thanks to you. :)
Feedbacks are welcome. :)