Poem 14.  The Pain Has Brought Me To Life

Poem 14. The Pain Has Brought Me To Life

A Chapter by Dhaye
"

Every little pain teaches us some lessons to remember...

"

When the pain started to dwell in the bottom of  my heart
Like a deep wound which could not be healed by time;
When the song I sing are not those like lullabies
For when the music played I hear them like my cry.

When the sun seems hiding behind the darkest clouds
I have to wait for the rain fall from these eyes of mine;
For the day makes me feel that I stepped out of light
Like the night warning me some secrets to hide.

I don't want to stay in this dark corner forever
Like a prison of my own guilt and fear;
I want to stay out of this scary fever
Like a free child playing my favorite game.

I have to heal my wounds by the love I receive
I have to stay stronger as long as I live;
I want to live with joy, with love and peace
With those gifts I have, I want to subsist.

The pain which have been my worst company
I have to  live with it but learn with dignity;
The gifts I have must be enjoyed fully
Every wound was healed by the countless luck I see.

So I understand that every  pain I had
Is only a reminder how lucky I am;
That every grief teaches the lesson to take into account
And that pain has brought me to life!



© 2013 Dhaye


Author's Note

Dhaye

My Review

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Reviews

Dark Corners, eh...what a coincidence. I actually wrote a poem called "Dark Corners", and though no one has a patent on words there are some things we have to be careful about
when writing. I have found that out first hand as I continue working on the tedious task of publishing my work...I didn't realize my work sucked so much until the editorial staff got their hands on it.
Anyway, a good write that could use some work....good use of simile and metaphor though more is better. Rhyming follows no pattern or (rhyme nor reason)...for example in stanza 5 you rhymed all lines aaaa, and in others you used the perception of near and slant rhymes inconsistently. Stanza 1 abbb (time-lullibies and cry) 2 (mine-light-hide) and 3 (forever-fear-fever) Not really rhymes, though near or slanted. It makes it difficult to read not knowing what and where to emphasize.
Also, dhaye...rhythm....cadence is not consistent...just makes it a little awkward.
I liked the message and the images you used.
The hardest part of writing is sometimes listening to other people's opinions. Poetry is very subjective and just because I made these comments, doesn't make them right. It is your creation and you know what your intent is and how you wanted to convey those thoughts.
Overall, I liked it. Just telling you what I feel. hopefully you accept my comments in the vein they were intended....as a critique, which I think we all want.
Good job
Allen

Posted 11 Years Ago


Dhaye

11 Years Ago

Thank you for your constructive criticism. Actually, I just write what comes out from my mind...free.. read more
That's the spirit! no rainbow.. without some rain..

Love it :)



Posted 11 Years Ago


Dhaye

11 Years Ago

Thanks for the compliment. I am just inspired to write what I feel right now. I am happy after survi.. read more
White Ink

11 Years Ago

Happy to hear that. Never give up.. those hardships made the person we r today. :)
This poem somehow reflects on my life. very uplifting to a soul like mine. and very powerful.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Dhaye

11 Years Ago

Thank you: ) I am happy that somebody has been inspired by those words.
Tavionna

11 Years Ago

your welcome
When the sun seems hiding behind the darkest clouds
I have to wait for the rain fall from these eyes of mine;
For the day makes me feel that I stepped out of light
Like the night warning me some secrets to hide.
These lines are my faves in this wonderful poem...
Thank you for sharing the write and pain...

Posted 11 Years Ago


Dhaye

11 Years Ago

You're welcome. You are a wonderful writer for you have wonderful compositions, too.
Sami Khalil

11 Years Ago

You too dear friend . Keep shining ...:)

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Added on January 25, 2013
Last Updated on May 6, 2013
Tags: pain, joy, resurrection, life, sadness, hurt


Author

Dhaye
Dhaye

Philippines



About
Hello! I am Dhaye, a public secondary school teacher, a passionate artist "married" to her dream. I write in different perspectives. So please know NOT all my works are about me. .. more..

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