Depression

What is depression? Depression is laying in your bed with meaningless tears running down your face. It's trying to cry for help but getting choked up on your own words. It's suffocation. You're swimming in the middle of the ocean and your arms are so tired but you know if you stop, you're going to drowned. It's crying your eyes out and then walking out of your room with a smile on your face as if nothing's wrong. You're exhausted. You could get 10 hours of sleep and still feel tired as Hell. Your body is shutting down no matter how hard you try to keep going. It's like you're laying in a crowded street and no one sees you dying. Depression is not wanting to go to work in the morning because you're psychically and mentally exhausted. You're sick. You're sick but not in the way people can see or even understand. It's a young soul that's been hurt so much that suddenly you've gone black and dark. It's the happiest you've ever been in your life yet you still cry yourself to sleep at night for no reason. It's having the littlest thing cause you to be insecure. Depression isn't beautiful black and white photos or quotes. Nothing about depression is beautiful! It's waking up all through the night with thoughts that fill your head. Thinking yourself into a bad mood when you're currently having the best time of your life. Suddenly little things become big things. Next thing you know, you're crying over something so small. It's a spiraling downfall of whether or not you can keep going or give up.  But, you've come too far. It's wondering when this nightmare is going to end because you're tired of being sad. You're tired of the person you love thinking it's their fault but really they're the only thing that's giving you the strength to get through the day because inside you feel like you're dying. But, their love is keeping your heart together. It's looking them deep in their eyes with tears running down your face and having a reminder of why you haven't given up yet. In that moment, you hate yourself a little less than the day before.