Is it the End of the Road?

Has anybody felt like this before?

Yes, I admit I love you dearly,
but is love enough to suffer this pain you’re causing me?
Each day, I find it difficult to walk on eggshells
worrying that I might tick you off any moment.
Do I deserve you? Do you deserve me?

Last night you said the ball is in my court.
What did you mean?
I thought it was like saying, “Hang in there until you want,
I’m through. I. am. through.

Five years we spent together showed me all of you.
I know you know me all too well, too,
but we are stuck in a limbo I cannot fathom.
Will I give up or keep fighting for you?

Today I walked along the summery, smoothly travelled road;
though now for some reasons, it felt so silent and toilsome.
The sun tells me he knows what I’m going through;
then he smiled sarcastically. This is the first time he did this to me.

The clock in the office ticks rather too loud today.
Every second is a leg with chains dragging itself with all its might--
Like my limbs hesitant to take steps,
For they know they’ll lead me to your door where our cycle continues.

We have the same goals, but with differing ways.
I accepted yours, why can’t you with mine?
“You have to act as a lady”, you said uncountable times.
Can’t you see I prefer to be a woman?

I am weak, selfish, indecisive, frail, and irresponsible.
I don’t want to be the one ending this.
My heart is already gone.
My identity"none!