I wrote this with the hopes of submitting an unrhyming poem for a grade in creative writing. I'm trying to grow as a writer, some honest opinions please! :)
I love this poem! I have felt this way before and I have hated it. I think you described this situation beautifully. I loved "I can ignore/The emptiness/That resides/In my chest." I know that feeling all too well. I love that your poem is so easy to relate to. Fantastic poem!
it worked. i envy you because it never worked for me. anyways, i loved the words you used... "the phantom of your memory haunts my subconscious" "the apparition of what was torments me"
nice!
This came out pretty good as well. It has a tempo that suggests you can read it out loud, which is always a positive for poetry. I personally dislike rhyming poems unless your theme is simplistic, but you did a great job here on an unrhymed one. Good work.
I don't rhym at all when i write poetry but WOW! this a very great piece to me one of your best you did a amazing Job with this write it's going into my reading list it is inspiring me a bit makes me think of some one letting go of a old love and having no feelings for em anymore like they are numb to feeling them yet their presence haunts them. god bless lily
I think its great...you don't have to re-edit it , at all....I read it, twice, and I feel like , as humans, lovers, hopeless romantics lol...we've all succumb to the feelings you emoted in your wonderful poem.
A very good poem. I like how you twisted the words to create a poem of sadness and anger. The poem got stronger and better with each added line. No weakness in this poem. A very good ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote
To be haunted by a lie is the greatest torment.. To be ruled by some1 who pretended to be who they thought they were... I know when I was younger it took a while to get out of my rhyming phase, Now-a-days I let the poem go where it wants to.. some lines rhyme some do not, but one thing I do know is when I read it out loud many comment on how rhythmic it sounds. So it's content/ quality over technical any day. When you think abt a piece that speaks 2u it was probably the way something was said.