I. Feel. Nothing.

my professor likes my poetry, but says he isn't a rhyming kinda guy. so this is my first non-rhyming poem. Some honest opinions please, cuz I know nothing about this! It's simply a shot in the dark!!!

Nothing.

This is what I feel.
I lay in his arms

and I feel safe.

Secure.

Happy.

I look over the edge

of his bed.

My shirt, my boots.

On the floor.

I can feel his breath,

Warm on my bare shoulder.

His fingers dance over my back.

They play with the hem

of my blue jeans.

I don't care.

He can take it all off.

I'm happy

to be in his arms.

He's sexy.

Strong.

Sweet.

But when he kisses me,

Nothing.

You've ruined me.

I don't

Feel

Anything.

Reviews

[Tate Morgan]

Oh man this is sweet i dont normally like unrhymed poetry But the key here is the
last stanza perfect use of the clinching phrase i do this all the time the last part has to knock you out beautiful

But when he kisses me,
Nothing.
You've ruined me.
I don't
Feel
Anything.
100 I dont give these often

[SpokenWord]

Your poem tells a familiar story. It is a sad one but it also reminds me how feelings can flea. "I feel nothing" I wish I could be blessed to feel nothing. This poem speaks a truth and it isn't sad it is a story of the beginning of moving on with life. Emotionally detached is a good thing, I would welcome it.

You reached your goal of not rhyming, this feels like you are talking to a friend, it seems real, it seems like truth. Excellent job.

[reminder]

Wow, powerful! Disceptive in its message, almost lyrical in its delivery. Excellently done!

[Rose Masen]

Oooo beautiful descriptions! I love it how you captured the moment very intensely yet sensually.

[Ashley Myers]

yup. another one i can relate to. Ive been with a guy that has just torn my insides out and ruined every emotional part of my being. and its so difficult to open up and love anyone else because of what he did to me. you write about every day things that millions of people experience and I LOVE IT! its hard to relate to a lot of peoms on here but youve captured my heart!

[Chelsea]

Nicely done! I love how the lines are loose and have a lazy feel to them. It goes well with the poem message, of just not caring!
A very neat poem!

[Pippa Stoneheart]

it has its own unique and exotic touch. one of a kind!

[Jim Parson]

Okay, I think your professor sucks! A poet writes what they feel, what is important to them and in the manner in which it speaks the best to THEM. If rhyming is what speaks to you, if it's what gets the words out that you want to say, then rhyming is what you should do. That doesn't mean that you didn't do a lovely job on this, because you did. You truly did. You said exactly what you needed to say and you said it very well.

[Dilan Gray]

I really like this poem. I think that you wrote it really well! Great job!

[Margaret Marie Hubbard]

Ahh! The saddest tale of life is never having the same heart after each relationship lost. Great job.