Distractions

I know this is a long one, but I had to get it all out. Please review it and let me know what you think!

These days spent without you fly by so quickly now.

I keep myself busy and happy and go on somehow.

The emotional capacity I lack for anything remotely real.

Everything inside me has shut down, I barely allow myself to feel.

I put on a brave face, and now date several other men.

Very rarely do I allow myself to think of us back then.

A date every other night, each offers something unique.

But none of these guys are like you, the thought of your smile makes me weak.

There's the handsome football player, so strong and so very sweet.

Red hair and faded green eyes, I know he'll always protect me.

He's charming, sexy, and bold, effortlessly he keeps me safe.

His face lights up when he sees me, we could have something real someday.

Then there's my army man, our friendship dates way back.

He was briefly home on leave, time with me he lacks.

But when he was here it was special, we spent some time together.

My short time with him was great, thanks to some windy weather.

At midnight, at the playground, flying a kite in the black night sky.

In his arms on the jungle gym, we kiss and I look into his blue eyes.

I trace my fingers over his forearm, over the intricate lines of his tattoos.

He holds me tight and keeps me warm as we lay under a midnight moon.

Then there's nights with him, the cowboy who makes me smile.

He's dangerous and risky, and I always hope he'll stay for a while.

I know I shouldn't see him, he's the opposite of me.

But being near him is exhilerating, he makes me feel so free.

Despite my better judgement, I let him kiss me as we sit outside.

His rough hands on my face and in my hair, I get butterfiles inside.

Another night is spent with a friend, who I know loves me as more.

We lay on the track and look at the stars, as we've done so often before.

My head is against his shoulder, the smell of his leather jacket is sweet.

And though he's just a friend, I don't object when our lips meet.

I know it means more to him than it really means to me.

He knows it too, I can tell, but I guess I'm the one who makes him feel free.

Many nights I've spent with my best friend, doing what we choose.

He has a girlfriend of three years, but I have nothing to lose.

We lay in the bed of his old, red truck, my head laid on his chest.

His hand rests familiarly on my back, he's the one who knows me best.

We've always been this way, though I know it's selfish and it's wrong.

But with that blonde hair and those blue-green eyes, those those thoughts pass along.

She'll never have to know how unfaithful he really is.

Either she's stupid and she's blind, or chooses not to see it.

With so many to distract me, I tell myself I'm fine.

And this passes for the truth, until your eyes meet mine.

It seems like no matter where I go, I'm running into you.

I see your truck beside me, and I don't know what to do.

Everything inside of me dies, there's nothing left to feel.

It's not hurt that you've left me with, it's this anger that's so real.

I think of your body next to mine, both of us asleep late at night.

I'm angry that you took that away, us felt so right.

So I distract myself with others, and try not to think of your green eyes.

But every time I see you, everything inside of me dies.

Reviews

[Ashley Myers]

i was once told by a not so wise person that in order to get over someone you find someone new. it heals the hurt for the moment but youre so right in saying that when you see that one person that truly had your heart, you fall to peices all over again. ive been through this before, and the only thing it led to is trouble. never try to heal yourself by getting with someone new, because masking the pain only adds to it.

[Ruth]

Amazing work! A kind of free form yearning, strong imagery and beautifully crafted love, this kind of situation is heartbreaking but through wording the emotions, hopefully cathartic!
Great work love
xx

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is more of a story then a poem. You told a very sad and strong story. I like how you took the reader in slow and easy. You create good characters with your description. A lot of emotion and reflecting on things lost. A sad ending to a very strong story. Thank you.
Coyote