The Shower Floor

this was written four days after Matt left me.

I sit on the floor of the shower as hot water pounds on my naked back,

The tears are finally falling, the strength to fight them any longer I lack.

Today is the fourth day since you took everything away.

I've held back the tears until right now, I can't hold them in another day.

You stole away my soul, the very reason that I breathe.

You ruined me without warning or reason, gave me no clue you would leave.

And as I sit here in the steam, my surroundings all a blur,

The truth is settling itself in my brain, a lie is all you were.

You were a beautiful lie, with those green eyes and that sweet smile.

You promised me a lifetime together, but only planned to stay for a while.

I put my hands before me, the water pooling in my palms,

Four days ago you held these hands, how can you now be gone?

This was your second chance, we were apart for two long years,

But you fought for me, you won me back, and put to rest my fears.

You told me of your dreams, of our life that lay ahead,

A house, some land, dogs and kids, you swore forever is what we had.

But here I am on the shower floor, wet and all alone,

The water blending with my increasing tears, because you decided you "were done."

Reviews

[7211]

I am not good on offering outlooks or advice. I certainly will not demean your feelings and say "I know how you feel". It is just the first line that caught all of my attention and held it to the end. I do that same thing! Sit on the floor of the shower when things are bleak. Something about it is so soothing. Good to know other people do that too, I don't know anyone else that does.
Fantastic write. Hope it helped assuage your feelings.

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

there was something scandalously human and original about the setting. I appreciated the emotional effect. It's feminine and angsty, but not over-kill. Thanks Heather.

[steph]

this poem is another tragic love tale, this time you won my tears.... Fantastic truly fantastic

[Tony]

I think we've all been on that shower floor-- very descriptive and all around evocative write.

[Coyote Poetry]

The poem is amazing. You create a sad vision of a broken heart and a lonely situation. Your words told a sad story. I believe better to fight battles of disappointment alone. A outstanding poem.. A emotional ride in your words.
Coyote

[Mason]

such strong emotion, it is pure tradgedy presented with dignity, however naked and vulnerablee you feel.

[Dane Osborne]

This was pretty good. The overabundance of words can come off as intimidating to some readers but when you read it, it has a easy flow. Yeah love is a b***h, any expereinced person who has really looked at the world will tell you that. It makes me wonder about how brain chemicals play a part in our behavior. If attraction, desire, and affection are just the result of brain cell activity, the why in the hell do we put all these pseudo new age misconceptions about love?


I think we name our emotions. We name them what we are taught to name them by others and that is done for societal conveinance. Thats just a honest reflection.Well done and keep it up:)

[Claude]

The shower was a wonderful setting for your piece. Alone, naked in this solitary place, crying on the floor really makes the mood. Well done!

[Steve H]

Very strong words here, the emotion pours out of it! I don't like people to see me cry, so I've cried in the shower too! Even the name of this spoke to me a little! Big well done

[Frank F. Atanacio]

my goodness another strong emotional gritty entry

[GTVile]

Heart-wrenching, but beautiful nonetheless. Good job, and of course rhyming is always better!