Steps

A Poem by Heather D

at this point i was very confused about some decisions i had made in my life. i needed to get it all out.

From the very beginning I was told I was special.
I thought I was different, at everything I excelled.
At school, I learned so quick, was ahead, and made straight A's.
With other kids I quickly made friends, had a new one every day.
I was athletic, chose to play softball, and soon became the best.
Other girls were green with envy because I threw harder than the rest.
As I got older, my confidence grew in every aspect of my life.
Softball, school, friends and boys, everything was going right.
When I got to high school, it was great, everyone knew my name.
They'd say, "hey, that's her, the pitcher," I soaked up all the fame.
And though for years I couldn't understand how my teammates could be so mean.
I had my friends, who were there for me, so I just dealt with my team.
And then, all of a sudden, the finish line, was stretched out right before me.
Ao many big decisions, that could change my life, left my head constantly swarming.
I was always a good kid, stayed away from alcohol, sex, and drugs.
My friends were like me, used to be the same, but the temptation was too much.
All of a sudden, my very best friend, went down a very bad path.
She took two other friends with her, and they all stabbed me in the back.
They stirred up a lot of drama, spread rumors and made up lies.
All of a sudden, these girls who loved me, came at me with spite.
And then came the day to leave my childhood, and walk across the stage.
In my cap and gown, I took those steps, and stepped into a new phase.
I had to talked to coaches, quite a few, and was begged to play for their schools.
But I turned them down, went to school for my grades, now I wonder if I'm a fool.
It's not easy now, life is so hard, and for the first time I've made bad grades.
I'm struggling and stressed, and fighting with mom, and long for my high school days.
I wake up each day, and shower and dress, and make the drive to class.
After that it's work, work, work, and homework I can never get past.
I'm trying so hard, giving it my all, but it's not so easy now.
Mom says I'm not cut out for college, I've got to do better somehow.
My only happiness is my amazing boyfriend, I can't help but love him so.
But with school and work, there's not much time for him, which only adds to my woes.
So I work and pray, and wait for an answer, to slap me in the face.
I want to make something out of myself, put everyone in their place.