numb

it's been a while since i have written, so i apologize if it's bad, but this is what was in my head

I always ask myself, when things get tough, “Would I rather be numb?”

Wouldn’t it be worth it?

When darkness is the only thing surrounding me when I cry,

Providing both a lonely sense of comfort and suffocation at the same time.

Wouldn’t it be worth it?

If panic attacks could be a thing of the past

I wouldn’t feel the guilt, dread, and anger I carry on my back

That weighs me down, knowing I want to give up.

Dragging me down an abyss of sadness without any way to get up.

Is it worth it?

If a smile never graced my face.

If laughter, the one thing keeping me afloat sailed away from my embrace.

I would see people be joyous and filled with glee, yet I would never again be able to feel happy.

Of course it’s worth it!

Who need happiness when you no longer feel sad.

In fact, I would be balanced and no longer mad

Temperament would be calm and even, though I couldn’t feel glad- for it.

I could take the risk to be numb, right?

Nothing will ever matter again, but that is a good thing, right?

Yet, why do I feel this uncertainty when I admit it out loud?

Surly if I were numb, I wouldn’t have this silly doubt.

Reviews

[Tepo]

You obviously know what numb is you describe it so well
Is it worth it?
There is feeling in every word you write
That would disappear
As would empathy
This will help others, it already has.
Next time a smile Grace's your face you'll know you want another.
Enthralling write

[alittledistraction]

thank you so much, never thought of of my writing in that way! :)

[John the Baptist]

Well, depression sucks. Can't speak for numbness; closest I have been is extremely mellow via cabernet. I think being numb would be a temporary relief from pain until the boredom became unbearable.

[alittledistraction]

i agree, the more i think about numbness, the more i realize that. thanks! :)